Kids: Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told...

By Lady Douche of Asscrackington - 10/10/2013 20:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 557

You deserved it 3 586

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Same thing different taste

By Derp McShitstain - 16/09/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 721

You deserved it 2 774

By aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss - 26/08/2015 13:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 011

You deserved it 2 533

By campmom - 08/07/2009 05:02

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 412

You deserved it 3 836

Mom won this one

By duuuuude - 17/04/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 994

You deserved it 23 324

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 437

You deserved it 28 104

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 112

You deserved it 5 187

By ew - 12/04/2016 17:53 - United States

Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 125

You deserved it 3 064

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 342

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 676

You deserved it 883

By Ishowet - 31/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 475

ImTheAlpha 30

Friday 11 October 2013 1:12

Sometimes I'm glad I don't have siblings.

Rainhawk94 27

Friday 11 October 2013 1:23

Quiet you loofah

Comments

cosicosei 22

Friday 11 October 2013 1:27

Couldn't you just explain you didn't to everyone that was over? I'm sure they'd agree kids say the darnedest things :)

darwinism 30

Friday 11 October 2013 1:32

It is great you have your kid learning French at such an early age, and will always know how to ask for a shower. Your parent's should be more supportive.

thestrangedude 10

Friday 11 October 2013 1:33

Maybe you need to go through the house showing the little one various items and asking him what they are called, just in case there are any more surprises waiting for you. Who knows what his brother has told him

Topgun20 3

Friday 11 October 2013 1:33

In French, douche means "shower"!

Faff 20

Friday 11 October 2013 19:00

Also in Dutch!

Kateyez_26 13

Friday 11 October 2013 1:39

Oh the joy of having kids lol

VasNormandy 14

Friday 11 October 2013 1:55

I don't understand why people would take the words of a child so literally. Especially parents who have already raised children and know that that they say stupid shit.

pinkshirtbadman 15

Friday 11 October 2013 7:21

Any parent that would be angered or offended by that must be fools. ever kid I've ever known, mine included, often say random things that without proper context sound awful. My daughter told an aunt that I "beat her"... leaving out the part where she was talking about a board game, in her mind that didn't need to be added since of course that's what she meant.

beautifulsoul89 11

Friday 11 October 2013 2:09

Lmao, I'm sorry but that's too funny, gotta love the "older dividing tricks"..just explain to your parents, they should understand this situation if you have a brother or sister. But if not, its the joy of having kids!! Don't stress over it, yes a bad joke but Ey, it could have been worse!!!!