Miscellaneous: Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 691

You deserved it 4 702

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Same thing different taste

Have you heard the news?

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 14:00

Today, my mother had a Kitty Party (sort of), and I was in charge of the tea and snacks. I was so busy I didn't pay attention to their discussion. After everything was done, I heard my mother talking about my poop colour and how unhealthy it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 132

Natural selection

By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 13:00 - Canada - Minnedosa

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 391

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 463

You deserved it 3 147

Too real

By ann - 05/06/2021 14:00

Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 854

Hygienic

By imfullthanks - 14/03/2009 23:06 - Norway

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 682

You deserved it 7 671

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 299

You deserved it 6 510

Worst workplace ever

By maya - 29/03/2021 20:01

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 102

By anna14 - 21/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 148

You deserved it 49 436

Food for thought

By Michael - 20/03/2021 05:02 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 174

Join in the fun

By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 11:02

Today, after discovering my grown-up kids have sent poop pictures to each other since they were teenagers, I had an epic poop that looked like a question mark. So I finally lowered myself to their level and sent a picture of it to them. It got sent to my boss by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 652

Next

Top comments

x_Cupcakes 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:09

Bon apitite!

swimmerstud 7

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:58

I wanna know what conversations you have at the dinner table if you think that is yummy.

Comments

AlecIsTheMan 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:00

so that's not just my family

erazzle 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:36

haha yeah, was just thinking how normal that sounded...

freelife571 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:20

at #9 you name the rainbow colors lol

M1k3y_G 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:05

Listen dude or girl, if your family can have a family conversation about shit like this literally then you know you got a normal family

jaykayc 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:29

ROY G. BIV ( red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet)

underpaid011 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:47

my favorite color is hangover black.

BWill9014 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:52

Talking about stuff like that during dinner makes me lose my appetite... I feel your pain OP

perdix 29

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:33

What can brown do for you?

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:41

No butts about it - your jokes are stinking up the place. I suggest we all wipe our memory of this situation before the s**t hits the fan and we all float to the top. Okay, fine. I'll sing the song: ♪ When you think your friends are joking, but your pants are brown and soaking: Diarrhea, diarrhea. ♪ -Your #2 fan.

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 16:41

Lifting my One Cup in cheer for two of my favorite dingleberries.

lemoncows 2

Wednesday 16 February 2011 6:06

if you're walking down the hall and you feel something fall.... lol

NewAddiction 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:47

my family used to do this on a regular basis. fyl (and mine)

wettcherry 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:57

lmfao @ perdix!!

The_Voytek_Bear 14

Tuesday 15 February 2011 16:15

Did you make a rainbow then?

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The Top

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 100

You deserved it 7 572

The Top

Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-workers 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 482

You deserved it 1 964

Today, my girlfriend works for a company that cleans VRBOs, so while she went to see family for a week, I asked her coworkers to come clean while she was gone, even the owner of the company showed up, They deep-cleaned house, but when she got home I got yelled at for a dirty coffee mug on my desk. The coffee was still warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 118

Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 672

Today, I finished taking a huge dump at the public restroom at the mall. When I got up to wipe, my wrist clipped my butt and knocked my brand new Apple Watch into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 1 218

Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 573

You deserved it 9 976

Poor lad.

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 88