Love: Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to...

By AnonymousUser - 05/05/2012 00:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 275

You deserved it 2 737

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Same thing different taste

By i suck, this i know :( - 26/07/2013 22:11 - Malawi - Blantyre

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 145

You deserved it 71 714

By theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? - 31/05/2013 22:25 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 508

You deserved it 4 650

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 21:29 - United States - Toledo

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 988

You deserved it 3 898

By LuckySperm - 12/08/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 424

You deserved it 3 137

Property dispute

By Anonymous - 19/01/2014 22:59 - United States - Dallas

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 833

You deserved it 11 967

By Anonymous - 16/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 770

You deserved it 34 453

Surpriiiiiiise…

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 782

By Anonymous - 22/07/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 031

You deserved it 3 402

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 515

You deserved it 2 901

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 394

You deserved it 3 175

FMLouis 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:32

That was a bit harsh

BruisedGiraffe 15

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:32

Ask if he can find you a coupon

Comments

homiechas24 3

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:46

Do not that's just giving away your man parts when there still there

Annis_x3 7

Saturday 5 May 2012 6:02

What?

Michael_92 20

Saturday 5 May 2012 6:23

Wow ever heard of punctuation? It could really be used in your comment.

cmoore366 0

Saturday 5 May 2012 13:25

24, you're retarded. I understood him perfectly, just because someone misspells a word that a lot of people don't understand the correct spelling on (There, Their, They're) You're going to bully him

dominic1221 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:47

Wait, why did you panic? Is it cause you really just want to stick your dick in some poor girl's vag or what? If it is, then take the vasectomy, you nympho horndog.

ImTheAlpha 30

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:50

Nymphomania is only for females. The male version has sømething to dø with satyrs.

dominic1221 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:54

M'kay. I stand humiliated, Ms ø-guy.

Il_Maestro 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 7:51

Better a nympho horndog than a nympho hound dog

perdix 29

Saturday 5 May 2012 6:09

Frankly, your dad is an idiot. Your fertility, or lack thereof, is not a big factor in getting laid for the first time. Condoms are just as effective. Celibacy can be a nice lifestyle. It seems noble if you profess to choose it, but if it's forced on you, you appear to be a loser.

GoW_Chick 14

Saturday 5 May 2012 6:11

Let's try to find the silver lining here.... You could always use the damaged guy approach with your, less than helpful, dad as the reasoning, could get you laid or maybe even a girlfriend.