Love: Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to...

By AnonymousUser - 05/05/2012 00:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 275

You deserved it 2 737

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Same thing different taste

By i suck, this i know :( - 26/07/2013 22:11 - Malawi - Blantyre

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 145

You deserved it 71 714

By theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? - 31/05/2013 22:25 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 508

You deserved it 4 650

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 21:29 - United States - Toledo

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 988

You deserved it 3 898

By LuckySperm - 12/08/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 424

You deserved it 3 137

Property dispute

By Anonymous - 19/01/2014 22:59 - United States - Dallas

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 833

You deserved it 11 967

By Anonymous - 16/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 770

You deserved it 34 453

Surpriiiiiiise…

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 782

By Anonymous - 22/07/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 031

You deserved it 3 402

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 515

You deserved it 2 901

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 394

You deserved it 3 175

FMLouis 6

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:32

That was a bit harsh

BruisedGiraffe 15

Saturday 5 May 2012 5:32

Ask if he can find you a coupon

Comments

marisa1436 5

Sunday 6 May 2012 10:13

Your father must be miserable :O

cuddlebunny3548 11

Sunday 6 May 2012 12:08

Awwwww I want you :)

CanadianCutie22 16

Sunday 6 May 2012 14:48

what great advice to be given by your dad...

DazedSiren 5

Sunday 6 May 2012 17:53

Sounds like daddy has some problems of his own.

tootall2breathe 8

Sunday 6 May 2012 20:13

DAMN that hurts my feelings.

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 7 May 2012 1:39

He's right.

mrrossh 3

Monday 7 May 2012 17:41

Sounds to me like HE should get a vascectomy, and I'm hoping you inherited more from your mother's side than you did from him.

Bass_Killer69 1

Monday 7 May 2012 21:41

That's when you say that just because he has a teeny weeny and could never please a girl doesn't mean you can't.

alexroa50 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 11:05

Sully?

iperson 11

Sunday 24 March 2013 21:47

Man that's mean

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The Top

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 173

You deserved it 3 344

Today my job started requiring all transactions regarding cigarettes or alcohol to have the ID scanned before proceeding. There is no way yo bypass this function. I carded a 60 year-old man and his 40 year-old son who both yelled at me for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 955

You deserved it 186

The Top

Today, when I realized I'd forgot rice on the stove, I jumped off my chair and pulled off my headphones really fast. Now I've got burnt rice and broken headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 387

You deserved it 1 519

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 881

You deserved it 6 291

Today, I was skinny dipping with some cute girls from school, one of which I really like. Everything was great until I caught a fish on my own personal nightcrawler and they had to take me to the ER. I'll forever be known as "Salmon Dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 475

You deserved it 721

Today, in what was probably a freudian slip, I 'accidentally' sent my boss a text message meant for my therapist, containing an elaborate plan to sneak my cat into the office as my "emotional support animal." My boss replied with a simple "Denied." My dreams of a feline-fueled workspace shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 905

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 680

You deserved it 5 134

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 435

Same thing different taste

Property dispute

Surpriiiiiiise…

Get on with it

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