By Scholar - 05/09/2012 16:13 - United States

Spicy
Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 458
You deserved it 3 949
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Top comments

theslimshadylp 6

30 months?!? You need to get laid PRONTO!

154 12
redmane 21

Don't do what 1 said to do. Get back at them by standing outside their door, loudly making the same noises they are.

126 7

Comments

jarockstar27 10

How is celibacy involuntary?

1 8
apndi 9

...When no one wants to have sex with you. Duh.

8 0
KaiserSD 8

Maybe clean yourself up and try NOT being celibate? You can always go promiscuous.

1 3
brooks10101 1

Its called hookers there there for a reason.

2 4
TurquoiseJesus 15

OP, it really is a simple solution to your problem. First, slide a tube under their door. Attach one end of tube to a tank of some sort of knock out gas (your choice). Then, the give is yours: do you take the left, unconscious body, or the right one? Pick one, and do your stuff. Don't forget to wash your hands after dumping the bodies in a neighbors room.

6 1
Sour_Diesel 13

Use Craigslist if you're just looking for a night of fun! It works wonders. There's people out there that will do just about anyone

2 4
redmane 21

There's also people out there that will kill just about anyone.

5 1
bstudds 1

hopefully by roommates you don't mean your parents and you don't sleep in a car bed. sorry I thought of grandma's boy...

1 2
mrsmaglietta 6

at least you don't have a baby's mama or STD

5 1
sportstar691 12

Well that really sucks. My number is ..................... lol

1 3