Intimacy: Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms...

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By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 21:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 860

You deserved it 16 538

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Same thing different taste

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 551

You deserved it 20 203

Simple plan

By Crish - 22/11/2020 05:05 - Italy

Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women fake their orgasms. Why can't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 170

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 336

You deserved it 4 334

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 702

You deserved it 9 303

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 248

You deserved it 3 011

By Queenbee26 - 23/11/2017 21:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 547

Sweet summer child

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 082

You deserved it 284

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 895

You deserved it 9 244

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 058

You deserved it 18 798

Make him stop

By he’s just terrible at it! - 30/10/2018 03:00

Today, I had to finally accept that no amount of communication, directions, or diagrams will make my otherwise great boyfriend good at sex. When he's on top, he thrusts like the tin man with no oil. When I'm on top, he lays there like a sedated mattress. He refuses to try anything new. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 061

You deserved it 444

glowbaby 15

Saturday 1 March 2014 1:05

How understanding he is!

smokecloud_ 37

Saturday 1 March 2014 1:06

Ouch. Maybe be a little more clear on what you mean by "spontaneous".

Comments

metalhead88 9

Saturday 1 March 2014 4:10

Hey if it works go for it

Meaniebobeanie 26

Saturday 1 March 2014 4:21

Stop 'making love' and have real sex.

Degenerate4ever 4

Saturday 1 March 2014 4:30

As a guy I can tell you that you should never tell a guy to be more spontaneous because we immediately go to stuff we've seen in ****. It's not your fault just with guys you HAVE to be specific.

CoriCat 25

Saturday 1 March 2014 4:53

If he's not satisfying you enough, and you want him to, let him watch you do it yourself so he can get an idea of what you like

devildog3766 3

Saturday 1 March 2014 4:59

be careful what you wish for!!!

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 1 March 2014 5:01

I think a vibrator will do you well...

buckdharma 37

Saturday 1 March 2014 5:08

Show him just how hot your hot pocket can get. Set your microwave on high until your incredible heat radiates his frozen center. Then scald him with your red-hot cheese.

happyfingers 15

Saturday 1 March 2014 5:45

Guess you should have been more specific. lol

pensacolalady 10

Saturday 1 March 2014 5:52

I've been married 30 yrs., never talk about sex in the bedroom! Maybe you need a new boyfriend if he's that uncaring!

jaellin 18

Saturday 1 March 2014 7:28

Glad I'm not married to you, sheesh. "Never talk about sex in the bedroom"??!!?? Obviously him guessing isn't working, her hinting isn't working. I haven't been married 30 years, but I do know from experience that speaking up in the bedroom gets you what you want.