Intimacy: Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of... - FML

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By Anon - 07/05/2011 06:08 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 527

You deserved it 62 434

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Same thing different taste

Cool story, tell it again

By GGimabeast - 29/07/2010 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 454

You deserved it 12 430

By lala - 25/01/2010 17:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, I used the Print Screen button to take a picture of a really cute bag that I want for my birthday. After emailing it to my mom, I noticed I'd forgotten to close another tab in the browser. The tab had a very suggestive title, for an even more suggestive website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 386

You deserved it 34 040

Awkward

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 23:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 279

You deserved it 51 668

By lovely321 - 02/04/2011 19:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 722

You deserved it 50 117

Kinky

By Keesha - 18/03/2021 19:30 - United States - Loveland

Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 85

By chaos2007 - 13/05/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 289

You deserved it 5 121

Privacy

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 22:00 - Germany

Spicy

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 501

By makdra - 06/01/2016 18:01

Today, I found out my mom can't wait until I turn 18, so she can kick me out and turn my room into a huge closet for all her clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 269

You deserved it 2 035

Online shopping

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 02:04 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo, a jockstrap, and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 1 508

By wowthatwould - 04/12/2011 21:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 414

You deserved it 46 718

Next

Top comments

YacL 15

Saturday 7 May 2011 11:57

You should've been like "I want that for my b-day, too".

honeylol 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 11:53

Ouch, that would suck,

Comments

thatonedude117 1

Tuesday 10 May 2011 18:44

haha made my day

Vaesive 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 20:40

Who's howls? Your mothers or the pr0n... ;P

teenager13 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 1:54

smooth

josejg 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 4:27

haha oh man that's just to funny xD

oyelani98 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 5:33

I dont get it...

chloeeXD 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 6:03

great birthday surprise party.... in your pants ;)

emo_riot 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 17:18

ydi for having a mom

broomhildo 19

Saturday 16 July 2011 4:33

Yes, how dare he have a mom.

JavIin 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 14:45

HAHAHAHAHAHA! But sorry about your mom, dude. :P

lovely_leahh 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 4:35

she probably sat there howling with laughter :)

hthelittleone 10

Thursday 19 May 2011 6:52

for a sec there I thought you meant your MOMS howling screams of pleasure... now THAT wouldve been awkward...

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The Top

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Today, I got a notification from a delivery carrier that my package had been delivered. I opened the door to find a perfectly wrapped box with no address, no label, and a note inside saying, "You’ll know when it’s time." I still don’t know what it means. FML

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You deserved it 80

Today, my new boyfriend told me it wasn’t gonna work out, all because he found out I have tattoos. According to him, that’s an indication that I don’t respect myself and my body, and have “a body count higher than Snoop Dogg on 4/20.” I’m actually a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 279

Today, my daughter saw me and my boyfriend making out and tried to separate us because she’s a momma's girl. I thought it was cute and funny, but he yelled at her until she ran back to bed crying. He still thought we were still going to have sex after, because he “got rid of her for you.” DUMPED. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 266

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 942

You deserved it 9 482

Today, I ran over a pothole that was so small it barely qualified as a hole, more like a dent than a hole, but somehow it was still enough to completely crack the rim of my tire and made me 3 hours late to work. I get paid by the hour, so this will hurt my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 166