By AdamTB - 21/07/2015 17:45 - United States

Today, I attended a new class at college. It was a class to help people with Asperger's adjust to college, which my parents pushed me into taking. It was incredibly condescending and insulting, and it felt like a class for preschoolers. My parents won't let me drop the class. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 903
You deserved it 3 048

AdamTB tells us more.

AdamTB 26

Huh, surprised this got published. Anyway, a lot of the comments are about me just taking control and dropping it and that’s probably not going to change, so I’ll just comment the reason why I haven’t now. Due to my Asperger’s, my parents feel like I am not self-sufficient and I cannot make my own decisions. Naturally, this is completely false. However, due to college being ungodly expensive, I’m living with them until I can become financially stable. Now then, onto the problem. Dropping the class is a great idea in theory, but that’s not going to happen in practice. Trust me, if I could then I would. If I drop the class, my parents will definitely know. They will then proceed to, for lack of a better phrase, bitch me out for dropping it without consulting them (which I have done, and they refused to let me drop it). They are not abusive, but can be relentless and admittedly scary at times. I’d rather take a demeaning class than have to deal with them. Does that sound like a childish reason? If it does, I don’t blame you. I’ve always been constantly told that I’m mentally and emotionally a few years behind normal people. Sometimes, I don’t know whether to believe it or not. Regardless, my best option is to just move forward with the class no matter what happens. Also, this is probably going to be brought up so I’ll just talk about it now: no, I cannot move out. They will not let me as they do not believe I could survive by myself yet. Even if I were to just run away and move out, I still don’t have the finances to buy a even an apartment room and continue with college.

Top comments

You're an adult. Make your own decisions

It's actually rather mature, honestly. You're doing the right thing, it doesn't cause you that much trouble and it makes your parents happy. Sometimes we just have to do things we don't want to for the sake of those who care about us.

Comments

Make sure exactly what you think about the class ends up on the evaluation form at the end of the course. Maybe you can make it better for the next set of students.

AdamTB 26

Good news, bad news time. Good news: I decided to say "screw it" and I dropped the class. I also got a refund. Bad news: my parents found out (no, I did not tell them) and are now convinced that I'm going through a delayed teenage rebellion. Yay.

Feh_250 7

I hope you get out of there asap, Adam. Maybe you should leave this page for them to find, though. Also? I hope you change your passwords and undo the filters that send them your emails. This would be right in line with the delayed rebellion.

Hey I have Asperger's and know a lot of people with it too - and it sucks that people can underestimate you - especially parents. I have a friend who is capable of a lot more than her parents realise but they act like she is unable to do anything. :/

Good for you, OP! I know how much the struggle with your parents is going to suck (I have depression/anxiety and was coddled by my even more severely affected mother myself), but this is an important and, I think, necessary first step. Sadly, your parents are going to continue thinking of you as being a wayward, overgrown preschooler, most likely, but at least you've taken the first steps to knowing and feeling better!

Op, depending on your states provisions, some of them will actually be able to help you get your own place, even give you maid service once or twice a month. My cousin has Asperger's also and finished college last year after 7 years I think. Mostly because her parents wanted her to help out around the house with cleaning, cooking, staying at her grandmothers house nightly without access to internet. She isn't allowed to learn to drive and still at the age of 28 is told to get up the morning, has clothes picked out isn't allowed in the house by herself which frustrates her. She tried to use a place called a "Regional Center" that is sort of run through government grants that would have paid for an apartment and maid service monthly and provide either a bus pass or a bus type service that comes to your house and transports you where you need to go, just takes FOREVER. Also would have given her a monthly stipend along with helping her through college and finding a job. Her parents derailed that by not signing the paperwork, and telling the center that she was lazy and not willing to work. Anyway, try to see if you have a "regional center." It's not SSI or SS. The thing you have to make sure of is to not allow your parents access to anything from here on out. While they are trying to look out for your best interest in their own way, they can just be holding you back more than helping.

Maybe you can help redefine and make the class better by making suggestions. Would they know if you changed the class?

tediruxe 13

Tell them you drop it or move out and report the teacher either way they can't do anything about it. You're an adult and the class isn't for you. Tell them to sit through it and then decide if it's for them. If you're letting them control you then that's probably why they think you need a class to control you.

I too have Asperger's and to those who will say girls can't get Asperger's the answer is yes we can. It is just different than boy Asperger's slightly. But anyways I lived with my parents for five years after college then went through my "rebellion" and moved out. I did great. I did two years at community college and moved out once I transferred to University. Two more years at University and still straight A's, well one B+, and no college debt despite $0 contributed to my education by my parents. My brother has worse Asperger's than me so he can't move out and get a job whilst simultaneously going to college like I can so I am making my own way, which I want to. It has taken 2 years but I think now my parents are beginning to believe I can make good choices on my own. In fairness to them when I was at home I always let them make my decisions because they wanted the best for me, I trusted them and I had no desire to make big choices. It took until I was 20 for me to want to do something different than what they wanted for me but then I really had the determination to fight for it. I think they are beginning to respect me as a functioning adult in the world. But it was hard for them because I put myself so much in their care than when I wanted my own way it was confusing for them and they felt like I was rejecting all that they had given me over the years. So to those who say the parent are just being controlling, you are wrong. I don't want to speak for all Aspy's, but the ones I have known are like I was. Perfectly fine having parents make decisions until they aren't and the parents are gust going through mental whiplash. It seems "normal" teenagers go through this a little more gradually I guess where as us Aspy's just wake up one day and say, "No it is going to be this way, right now, and you can't change my mind or make me deviate from my new plan". But I will admit I didn't recognize this until my brother started going through this phase. Haha. Oh well, we are just slower at getting there.

Oh and don't move out if you can help it. It is so much easier to not have to pay rent. In fact I am moving back in with my parents in a year once I graduate barring any unforeseen events. And no college loans if they will pay for it. Look at this as a sign of their love for you that they don't want you to suffer those burdens for years after college trying to pay those off. Just keep going and earn their respect as an adult in the world, then you will feel really good about yourself because if they believe you can make it in the world then you will really know it is true.

Sit at the back and use the time to catch up on reading for worthwhile subjects, or on writing .an essay on how condescending and offensive the class is. Try contacting ASAN for some tips, too - Ari Ne'eman, who founded it, is on a Presidential Committee about disability.

that's ******* stupid. I have aspergers too and I know how ridiculous it is to constantly be treated like a child because of it

You're being a little bitch. Tell your parents to **** off. Then make your own decisions.

Do your parents think you have Asperger or something?