Work: Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on...

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 535

You deserved it 5 374

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By pinkblankets - 19/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 088

You deserved it 29 884

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 05:49 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 983

You deserved it 2 747

By Anonymous - 26/05/2019 17:15

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 05:02 - Australia

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 043

You deserved it 12 478

By Snow - 07/02/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 771

You deserved it 35 099

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 18:09 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 4 371

Stylish

By boo - 27/05/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 854

You deserved it 7 426

By anon - 27/03/2015 20:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 4 787

By mindy12182 - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 622

Own it

By psychortiz - 03/06/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 617

You deserved it 16 715

Fx13mz 7

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:41

I bet you look hot.

alex6946 10

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:44

why don't you use makeup remover and nail polish remover? it simplifies things.

Comments

leeshxx 3

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:09

the corn works wonders!!

glbracer 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:13

Trolling is a art.

t2icu 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:16

hope you gave her a good spanking. next time you take a nap you should lock the door. hope the interviewer took pity on you.

SteelCladAngel 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:27

I painted my dads finger and toenails a few times when I was younger he was sleeping and didn't even twitch haha

Got_any_grapes1 4

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:28

Yeah, good luck with that interview, although there might be questions concerning about your drug problems they think you have.

carlosestrada1 4

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:29

how about keep trying instead of posting it to fml?

Bullpine 11

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:31

olive oil

versace_chick 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:37

Your comment : buy some make-up remover and nail polish remover on the way to the interview. im sure that would save time.

hubla 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:57

good morning mommy I mean daddy

notbanned69 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 3:58

There's no way she could do that without waking you unless you got shit-faced first. And with an hour until your interview, you decide to go online to cry about it. YDI and a lowlife like you should never get the job. Go make me a burger and hold the pickles.