Work: Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on...

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 535

You deserved it 5 374

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Same thing different taste

By pinkblankets - 19/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 088

You deserved it 29 884

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 05:49 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 983

You deserved it 2 747

By Anonymous - 26/05/2019 17:15

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 05:02 - Australia

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 043

You deserved it 12 478

By Snow - 07/02/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 771

You deserved it 35 099

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 18:09 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 4 371

Stylish

By boo - 27/05/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 854

You deserved it 7 426

By anon - 27/03/2015 20:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 4 787

By mindy12182 - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 622

Own it

By psychortiz - 03/06/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 617

You deserved it 16 715

Fx13mz 7

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:41

I bet you look hot.

alex6946 10

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:44

why don't you use makeup remover and nail polish remover? it simplifies things.

Comments

rubyredringpop 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:13

Then what are you doing on FML?

sexybunsrosey 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:19

use make up remover, and if u have none of that, moisturizer of some sort and a face washer lol everyone has moisturizer

zyxwvutsrqponmlk_fml 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:23

And** is misprlled in the FML, please fix this.

meg238f 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:36

Nothing is misspelled, except for your lame attempt to point out a flaw.

rmbennin 10

Thursday 28 April 2011 5:09

*misspelled. FAIL.

Eggers 2

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:29

I enjoy wearing fecal matter too. wait, you were talking about the makeup? oh... cough cough. awkward

blester259 1

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:30

then why the hell are you posting on here

meg238f 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:32

All that stuff should come off pretty easily. Soap, scrubbing and nail polish remover will get rid of it.

sweetpea9008 2

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:35

you all are dick heads why write that?! so inconsiderate!

rockerkid33 2

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:39

so you stop to wright a fml?

minktheshrink 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 4:09

You're 18, supposedly, and you spell "write" incorrectly. I see a bright future ahead of you...

l_e04 1

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:43

looks like someone is going to have a fun interview.

Erindub 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:43

A little water and soap will get the make up as for the polish I'm sure theres some remover in the house some where if theres polish

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 111

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

The Top

Today, I'm recovering from a fall down the basement steps. I was carrying a casserole down to the fridge we have in the basement. I tripped, crashed at the bottom and broke my arm. Our dog came running down to investigate, completely ignored me, and just started eating the casserole off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 148

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they're a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won't fit, and have little brown streaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 003

You deserved it 3 205

Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 264

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 117

You deserved it 7 036

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 3 448

Today, I stopped at the coffee shop before work and confidently ordered "my usual." The barista looked confused but nodded. When my drink came, it was completely wrong. Turns out, I was in the wrong coffee shop. I was too embarrassed to correct them, so I drank a weird matcha-pumpkin spice sludge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 757

Same thing different taste

Stylish

Own it

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