Intimacy: Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone...

By anonymous - 27/03/2013 23:55 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 184

You deserved it 9 259

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Same thing different taste

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

Doubling down

By omgitserika - 18/11/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 185

You deserved it 71 246

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 780

You deserved it 5 152

Mama's Boy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 785

You deserved it 600

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 6 428

Who's that?

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 05:01

Today, after waking up beside my girlfriend to get ready to go to work, I leaned down to kiss her while she was still asleep, and she said, "Have a good day Jake." My name starts with a J, but it's not Jake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 113

By Lukey1028 - 14/07/2015 01:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 341

You deserved it 3 459

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 466

You deserved it 36 478

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 351

You deserved it 28 338

ThatOneDrummer 8

Thursday 28 March 2013 9:59

So he's either cheating on you with a woman, a man, or he's just really enthusiastic about car insurance.

boofgall 16

Thursday 28 March 2013 10:00

"And he's making you hard?"

Comments

dead_insects 18

Saturday 30 March 2013 2:14

although the situation is far from funny...that response made me laugh out loud. Eep...Im horrible :-

slacker_69 6

Saturday 30 March 2013 4:51

Either he is playing a joke on you or he is cheating on you either way his immedient response of "Jake from state farm" is pretty funny but FYL

laoxo16 10

Saturday 30 March 2013 6:42

this is actually hilarious

Stefanie88 24

Saturday 30 March 2013 16:24

Kudos to him for fast thinking!

ryan_eberle 3

Sunday 31 March 2013 5:43

That's hilarious

naiveprophet 15

Sunday 31 March 2013 8:22

His response is epic, but his actions are quite the reverse. Hopefully he isn't really cheating OP

brandoneyez1 25

Sunday 31 March 2013 13:39

He most certainly is cheating... And he's stupid too... Second opinion... Ok and jake is gay so its not even a women he cheated with.. Sorry op

cf1313 6

Monday 1 April 2013 1:52

Ya jake makes him hard, really great car insurance...

mimaayyy 7

Monday 1 April 2013 6:29

Your husband is a genius...a jackass, but a genius

Qball12193 4

Thursday 4 April 2013 4:45

Hahahahahaha that's funny!!!

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

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I agree, your life sucks 45 375

You deserved it 5 495

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I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 79