Love: Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into... - FML

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 475

You deserved it 495 637

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 315

You deserved it 19 281

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

By >{%£•¥ - 27/11/2010 07:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 070

You deserved it 4 155

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 84 248

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 392

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 765

You deserved it 44 232

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 858

You deserved it 8 371

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 508

You deserved it 6 490

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 592

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 386

You deserved it 3 951

Next

Top comments

brittbaybiee 0

Monday 16 March 2009 12:05

ewww

alley_cat_118 0

Monday 16 March 2009 12:29

#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.

Comments

jonnysox13 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:12

wow that's the nastiest thing I have heard in a long time

Kellayy 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:33

I would throw up. you couldn't see that thing taking residence on his neck? :P

superzombie 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:38

I think you just may be the worst vampire. ever.

fmlbaby_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:59

ughhh... *gag* I really feel nauseous from reading this. Not only does this totallllly suck for you, but its mortifying for him. Hope he doesn't read FML or the embarrassment is going to increase 10 fold! Time to book an appointment with a dermatologist. Seriously!

citylights 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:02

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that's friggin rank

Taihen 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:07

Yeah, that's a little bit sickening. There went eating those girl scout cookies I bought... FYL. Seriously. Like big time.

Marysenjo 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:10

this. is. SO. disgusting, ugh. if that had happened to me i'd have thrown up immediately :-X

Mikeymikey 4

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:21

Popping Pimples.... Ure doing it WRONG!!!! oh well yea i realised in pimples there's fat, pus and sometimes blood... mmmh... lol i bet ure scared as shit now whenever u see pimples. and uve got yr eyes wide opened!! oh well, to all those who nearly puked or cudn't eat their lunch or breakie after reading this .... damn send them to me. im starving here at work....

tateno 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:32

ahhhhhhhhh thats so gross!

superson_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:35

shit shit shit shit i need to forget this story or i'll never be able to bite any guy ever again

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The Top

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 190

You deserved it 2 951

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 265

You deserved it 4 813

The Top

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says, "I've been a dirty, dirty girl" in a seductive tone. I thought she meant about the table so I said, "Yes you have!" She then winked at me. I walked away fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 823

You deserved it 9 629

Today, I got a call from "No Caller ID", which usually only shows up when someone calls from my house phone. Thinking it was my kids, I answered imitating a cartoon voice. It wasn't my kids. It was the district attorney's office calling about the job I applied for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 603

You deserved it 1 521

Today, I found out that if a guy you've been dating starts acting weird, there's probably a reason why. Like, perhaps, a wife and two kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 894

You deserved it 3 120

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 130

You deserved it 11 775

Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 079

You deserved it 5 048

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 521

You deserved it 5 806