Animals: Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 28/08/2011 11:29 - Australia

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 413

You deserved it 43 035

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bels12 - 05/01/2010 05:15 - Australia

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 920

You deserved it 9 354

By Sassers - 03/12/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 858

You deserved it 35 029

By That idiot - 28/08/2014 02:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 410

You deserved it 3 627

By Deadfish - 26/07/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 384

You deserved it 7 146

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 23:39 - United States - Erie

Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 634

You deserved it 6 480

By fish killer - 08/02/2013 03:58 - Canada

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 280

You deserved it 29 834

Late reaction

By "chris_lillo" - 31/01/2020 18:00 - United States - Waco

Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 221

By Alaska - 29/10/2015 03:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 887

You deserved it 2 524

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 802

You deserved it 9 203

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 090

You deserved it 7 345

FernAdele 9

Sunday 28 August 2011 19:16

why did you even put it on your balcony :|

tybtab 5

Sunday 28 August 2011 19:12

what a fishy situation

Comments

bigbadtim 7

Sunday 28 August 2011 22:42

Instead of going after pigs the birds are now going after fish?

devinewind 4

Sunday 28 August 2011 22:50

:: singing:: "The circle of life..."

NaYers 3

Sunday 28 August 2011 22:51

What part of this was a good idea? Putting the fish outside... Or on a balcony where the bowl might fall?

HandsOffMarx 9

Sunday 28 August 2011 22:54

What an idiot

Dreize 1

Sunday 28 August 2011 22:57

lol

j_cat187 19

Sunday 28 August 2011 22:59

Fish sounds good. Bread battered and deep fried.

jacko45wacko 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 23:06

FYL??? It's like a 2 dollar goldfish go buy another one.

stevenmark 1

Sunday 28 August 2011 23:13

Is anyone else thinking about finding nemo?

stevenmark 1

Sunday 28 August 2011 23:13

Is anyone else thinking about finding nemo?

khaya 9

Sunday 28 August 2011 23:23

While you were going to fetch food so was the bird.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Gross Scary Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Food Money Kids Parents ACAB Family Cops Love Annoying Poopoo peepee Bosses Ironic Work Technology Embarrassing Geek Students School Education My ex Cheating Pregnancy Public freakouts AITA

The Top

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 022

You deserved it 57 622

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 610

You deserved it 9 216

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 021

You deserved it 2 918

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 159

You deserved it 8 079

Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 835

You deserved it 323

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 526

You deserved it 3 595

Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 80

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 385

You deserved it 4 213

Same thing different taste

Late reaction

Top comments

Comments