Start quietly moving things you particularly care about (photo albums, etc) over to a friend's house. Start saving up what money you can without him knowing. In the past, I've just asked for $20 cash back at the grocery store each time; if he checks your bank records it only shows the total spent at the store and he'd have to actually read a receipt to see it. If possible keep the money somewhere else, too. Find the number for your local women's shelter (they will often have posters up for them at doctor's offices and bars, in the women's bathroom) and memorize it. If you put the number into the phone DO NOT label it correctly; put it in as an alternate number for a friend or relative or something. But memorizing it would be the best. Wait until he is at work and grab the last of your things that you can take with you (important paper/documents; some clothes; what money you can get hold of; things of sentimental value) and just quietly leave. It will be terrifying; but it will also be the best and most freeing thing you do with this guy. :) Better to get out sooner rather than later; but if there is no immediate danger then you might have the chance to get things that matter to you that he might destroy away out of his reach, and not have to do it with nothing in your pocket. Change your bank password right before (or immediately after) you leave. Having kids or even pets complicates things, but a shelter will help you and so will the police or a doctor. We are taught as women to not stand up for ourselves and ask for help; but this is exactly what it is there for. And tell your friends about him! I had a friend with a relationship I found out from her later had been abusive; if she'd told us at the time we would have organized a small gathering of friends to explain to his broken limbs why his behaviour was unacceptable, and to remove him from her life. She's out of it now, thankfully; but I am to this day sorry that she was too afraid to let us know because we would have had her back.