By highfive - 17/10/2014 01:27 - United States - Dedham

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 349
You deserved it 7 132
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Top comments

Pwib 14

Can you really give it "five" if it doesn't have a hand?

213 6

Comments

devildog562 33

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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51 83
devildog562 33

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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14 51
devildog562 33

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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12 51
SystemofaBlink41 27

I think it's some inside joke for himself, because I honestly have no clue.

15 1
incoherentrmblr 21

So, if you give your dick a high five, does that count as masturbating?...

11 5
ohSNAPyall 26

That's why the boyfriend was celebrating.

0 3
Pwib 14

Can you really give it "five" if it doesn't have a hand?

213 6
devildog562 33

I'm pretty sure my Johnson gets a hand or two ....

90 1
Ki11erC 18

No part of the word "five" or even "high five" mentions hand.

2 48
lil_ham1644 29

No, but the "five" refers to a hand's five fingers.

56 0
whiteangel361 10

But it's not mandatory. How do you think people missing fingers do it? They still call it a high five.

27 3
Kyle1dc 17

am I the only one who pictures him twacking himself...

28 3
Ilmoran 20

You can give it a high (low?) five, but cannot receive one in return.

12 1
fivetimeslonger 24

#80, I am too. Like, does he just hit himself in the junk every 28 days or so?

5 1
pwnman 33

maybe they dont like coloured penises. unless they get a transparent type

2 40
2i1337i2iscore 13

Unfortunately the condom is the least effective form of birth control. Two words: the pill.

4 61
vikky538 28

than he has to high five with gloves...

4 17
littlekellilee 45

52 only if you take it right. You have to take it at the same time every day, keep it stored at the proper temp, etc

17 4
diving_fml 30

shell want that as a number two with some other form of contraceptive.

10 2
jeepers_1 21

Condoms can break. Always best to have a backup form of birth control, even then it's not 100%. Only way to be 100% sure of not getting pregnant is to not have sex, but that's just not fun!

20 3
mishwarner 14

Bullshit it's the least effective. Did you just make that up? It's more effective then diaphragms, withdrawal & the billings method. Only problem is condoms feel crap & no one wants to use them.

16 2
rocker_chick23 27

#52: Let my guess, you were taught abstinence only. That would explain your stupid, and totally false comment. FYI, some woman can't take the pill.

8 4
kaz55 9

#91 - my jaw hit the floor when someone actually mentioned the Billings method by name...NEVER heard anyone outside of "fertility awareness" groups reference it...are you from Australia by chance?

1 5
kaz55 9

The originators of that specific method were Australian...seems to be more well known there.

1 2
8born8 18

I'm 26yrs old, from Australia and I've never heard of this "Billings method". Someone please enlighten me?....

0 2
mete_orito 34

I assume you guys are not using any protection, so he celebrates this way every single month. It is understandable.

23 47
flutterby789 8

iim pretty sure theyre using protection if he does it every single month... pretty sure the game would b up by now if not

22 6
Stormcloak 20

I don't know... My mom frequently tells me that her and my dad used only the rhythm method and only ended up pregnant twice and when they wanted to be.

11 4
siggy_mcsigx 22

Pull out method worked with me and my ex for 2 years

2 21
foxwasalamb 24

pull out method worked for my friend. oh wait... it didn't...

14 1
Longblueknight 6

the pullout method didn't work for my parents at least once...

2 1
8born8 18

Somehow, I think #7 should've pulled out, and not hit the validate button.

0 1
PenguinBitch 43

He probably thinks it's humorous. Give him an intervention and explain how that's really stupid.

73 8
Mauskau 35

I went on the POP so I no longer get periods, means no one gets to do silly celebrations. :)

14 36
cdawg69 10

Wow.. I bet so many people care :)

19 13
Brandi_Faith 33

People may not care 85, but her comment is still relevant as she is commenting on something that works for her and therefore may also work for Op. :)

17 8
8born8 18

Hear, hear 101. At least #9 is taking responsibility for herself and being sex smart. Good on you #9!

0 1
8born8 18

& 85, I bet you (and so many people) would care, if you're throwing your end in willy nilly and 9mths later you're a daddy.

0 2
gurbism 16

Tell him you're late and see what he does then.

97 5
martin8337 35

And not late for dinner.

4 17
stevothedevo 25

Probably punch himself in the dick instead

38 1
Ki11erC 18

@10 They won't see anything but a cloud of dust and an open door.

25 2
rekkas 16

If he stays, he's a keeper

11 4
Enslaved 36

Is he cramping your style or are you just ovary acting?

156 6
devildog562 33

Hahaha aww you're pussy is ovary top on this pun . Please go easy one me .....

1 43
shay_serendipity 29

Devildog, I think you should take a break from commenting. You're on a bad downvote streak and honestly you aren't making any sense...

32 2
Soundslikeothers 15

Step 1. Go online and buy a fake positive pregnancy test Step 2. Next month tell him you are late. Step 3. Show him the fake test. Step 4. watch him freak out and laugh your ass off!

104 16
Swandive235 27

You evil person you... lol. I'd want to see that.

18 4