Love: Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break... - FML

By Jeff make - 01/04/2012 14:03 - United States - Malvern

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 418

You deserved it 34 471

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/08/2012 19:50 - United States

Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 240

You deserved it 4 464

By fucklife - 16/04/2013 18:13 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 542

You deserved it 5 210

By lovegotmehung - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 929

You deserved it 3 903

By Anonymous - 17/08/2018 14:30

Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 550

You deserved it 222

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 079

You deserved it 3 737

By Ella - 24/07/2009 02:26 - United States

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 469

You deserved it 28 232

News to me

By looz - 29/12/2008 07:21 - France

Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 898

You deserved it 2 149

By Anonymous - 02/05/2012 11:05 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 150

You deserved it 2 511

By Fack. - 19/02/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 994

You deserved it 8 661

Sweet relief

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 03:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 625

You deserved it 1 566

Next

Top comments

g_ayvel 11

Sunday 1 April 2012 19:30

I can only imagine what she would do if you told her in person

AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12

Sunday 1 April 2012 19:30

I can see who wears the pants in the relationship XD But seriously, that sucks T_T

Comments

shahroni1 3

Sunday 1 April 2012 21:14

may b she likes your loly pop. and she dont want to loose it.

Muhhhlisahhh 0

Sunday 1 April 2012 21:27

Whether she wants to accept it or not, she's dumped and you're single. Sidenote: who dumps someone over the phone? Are you a man? P*$$Y.

CockAsian 14

Sunday 1 April 2012 21:32

Do it face-to-face? Giggity.

PoppaSoda 5

Sunday 1 April 2012 21:36

Then just start ******* her replacement. She'll get it eventually...

digitaljunky 5

Sunday 1 April 2012 21:49

It would be suicide!! He would have better luck giving a wolverine a back rub then telling her it's over!

BigB0y1010 0

Sunday 1 April 2012 21:51

I agree w u

ohemgefml 1

Sunday 1 April 2012 21:54

60- I meant that was the first comment I've made on this account.

kitkat789 2

Sunday 1 April 2012 22:00

#1.be a man and do it face to face #2.u were owned!!!!! #3.but really that sucks #4.at least she didn't say "Kk" then *your call has been disconnected*

DealerCamel 2

Sunday 1 April 2012 22:05

I tried this with roles reversed. It didn't exactly work as intended.

Rachel8843 6

Sunday 1 April 2012 22:05

Lol yea! Just do that!! She probably thought it was an April Fools joke

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 023

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 050

The Top

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 354

You deserved it 55 865

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 010

You deserved it 3 581

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 262

You deserved it 2 089

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 717

You deserved it 2 764

Today, I found out that my mother organized someone to feed my pets because I would be out of town overnight, even though I told her that I would be back in the morning and they would be fine. They overfed my dogs, with one of them eating over 10% of her weight, and now she may have bloat, which is often fatal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 108