By adirom - 21/10/2014 02:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 638
You deserved it 9 555

adirom tells us more.

adirom 14

Thanks for all your support (or lack there of in some cases) for those of you wondering why I told them over text, my friends and I are very close and have a group message with just the 4 of us, the topic came up and I took the opportunity. I have social anxiety, and decided for the sake of my sanity that would work best. And after my one friend replied "k" there were multiple texts saying they supported me and didn't think of me any differently (which was my worry). So it all turned out for the best! To all of y'all who think being bisexual isn't a big deal, coming out regardless is a big deal. So please try and open your mind to how difficult it is to stray from social norms!

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Top comments

Enslaved 36

Their silence probably means they're "k" with it. Just as long as you're happy with whom you are.

173 9
Tthug 34

Gay is the new norm. It's not even cool to come out as gay anymore. The real edgy people are coming out as ebola victims.

166 16

Comments

itsjusttofunny 8

why the hell do people always feel the need to inform others of their sexuality? It's no one's business except yours and the person your banging.

7 19
limabeans101029 20

Because it's quite a big part of an individual's life. Unless you inform them otherwise, people will usually assume that you're heterosexual. I'm bisexual, my friends always assumed I was straight, and I didn't like the fact that they were unaware of such a big part of me. So that's why I informed people of my sexuality, and I'm guessing a lot of others have the same reason

14 3
XBurytheCastleX 25

Why did you have to come out to them? They don't need to know your sexual preference honestly... Unless you love one of them.

1 18
Alicestraza 33

It's never nice to have assumptions made about you, and the general default assumption is that people are straight. I'm sure if people were making a consistent assumption about you it wouldn't be so pleasant.

8 0
XBurytheCastleX 25

People do assume I'm straight... And it's not annoying. It's none of their business, and shouldn't be your main concern.

1 9
squideth 18

Well good for you then, but guess what? Not everyone is like you.

3 0
OneLittleAdditio 9

Why would you come out in a text message? if they're really your friends they and you deserve better than that.

5 4
limabeans101029 20

Because it can be very hard to do things like that face to face, especially if you aren't sure of how people will react. I was absolutely terrified when I came out as bisexual to my best friend. I agree that it's something best said in person, but I can understand why OP did it via text. Also, why do *they* deserve better than that? It's OP's sexuality, it doesn't really have anything to do with their friends, so he/she can tell them in whichever way he/she wants to.

6 4
DanielleinDC 33

On the one hand, perhaps they don't care about your sexual orientation, which explains the silence and the one tiny response. On the other, why on earth did you come out via group message? There are some things you just don't send via text/email, and news about your sexuality is one of them.

3 3
chuka81 27

You came out via internet, how personal and important do you expect them to take it?

8 2
Sansa_fml 38

you need support when doing something like that! Be proud of yourself that you found the courage to tell them, en ask if they want to talk about it. Or tell them you want to. You can use some support in this :)

4 0
Astrum14 24

To the various people who think that nobody needs to know about your sexuality: First of all, if you even so much as mention a boyfriend or a girlfriend in an offhand way, you're letting people know things about your sexuality. It's letting people know you are attracted to the gender to which that person belongs. Unless you expect nobody to ever let anyone know that they are dating someone. Second of all, in this time while we're working toward equal rights for LGBT people, it's important to give people a face to it. Many people can have a "eh, whatever" attitude or even an anti-gay attitude about LGBT rights until someone they care about is being discriminated against. This can make them actually /care/ about equal rights. Coming out to your friends and family is an important part of both accepting who you are and showing the world that LGBT people exist and aren't going anywhere and are just as human as straight people.

13 2
buttersmom 14

Coming out really isn't as big of a deal anymore... Maybe they already had their suspicions and didn't care! FYL for having an anxiety attack, but if they are real friends, they won't care.

2 2
AGuyNamedI 7

YDI. What are you doing throwing that out in a group post? What were you expecting? A fight to ensue? Or an orgy of congratulations? It sounds like OP was expecting to post something provocative and didn't get the response they were expecting. OP was expecting a surprise. Shock and awe. Chances are their friends already knew. Chances are their friends didn't care, because they already knew. Chances are it's just not that important. To anyone. This reminds me of one of my wife's friends, who she had known was gay since about 8 years old. When he finally came out at 18, 10 years later, people were glad he was finally able to admit it. No one was surprised, except for him. He didn't get the response he was expecting. Learn to love yourself. Then you won't be worried was other people think.

7 10
limabeans101029 20

I doubt OP was hoping for a huge drama to ensue. Surely you can understand how no response except for "k" would be worrying. As for the group message thing, I agree that face to face would've been better but OP probably just thought that was the easiest/least of a big deal way to tell them

7 2
AGuyNamedI 7

Honestly, I did find it a little heart breaking that no one responded. I can't lie about that. But... to put your friends in such a tight spot... I would not have responded either. The fact of the matter is who gives a shit. And if they do, so what? This whole gay thing is... so ******* tiring. Why hate? Why be concerned about hate? The only person that needs to accept you is you. It's no one else's responsibility. If your friends don't accept it, I hate to bearer of additional bad news, but it's not their responsibility. If they don't like that you swing both ways, good! Move on, get better friends. Life is too damn short to let fear take over.

2 3
limabeans101029 20

I agree, it is tiring, because no one should be hated for their sexuality. But it's very difficult to just not be concerned by hate. If someone I thought was my friend hates me because of my sexuality, I'm going to be upset about it. "This whole gay thing" wouldn't be so tiring if people would just open their minds and accept different people with different sexualities.

3 1