Miscellaneous: Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic...

By fmT719 - 18/12/2011 23:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 635

You deserved it 17 379

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

Stoners of the world unite!

By Andy - 04/04/2020 23:00

Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 201

Warren Zevon wrote bangers

By The song is "Excitable Boy" - 02/01/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 138

By bellerz14 - 23/12/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 999

You deserved it 4 223

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 499

You deserved it 3 033

By lauramarie - 23/07/2011 14:18 - Canada

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 568

You deserved it 15 611

Drowning

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 18:01 - United States

Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 589

By SteroidPenguin - 18/05/2013 22:33 - United States - Clifton

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 458

You deserved it 7 539

By embaressed - 20/09/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 2 919

Survivor

By whyyy - 21/11/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 909

You deserved it 2 680

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 451

You deserved it 4 166

imafmlluver 6

Monday 19 December 2011 1:42

MY GOD U SUCK skrillex ftw

kickazz16 15

Monday 19 December 2011 1:40

It's probably a mid-life crisis. But do know your dad heard you wail and scream for hours when you were a baby. Just adjust to it!

Comments

Stormdriven37 6

Monday 19 December 2011 1:52

Don't hate on skrillex

xsoul666x 5

Monday 19 December 2011 1:57

Skrillex is the shit, FYL.

upyourzlolz 11

Monday 19 December 2011 1:59

I guess the noise will make the neighbors... CALL 911!!

jesus1234566 0

Monday 19 December 2011 4:57

*** yeah! Haha tht was pretty good haha

stoneywoney 3

Monday 19 December 2011 5:52

It's uh call 911....NOW!!

upyourzlolz 11

Monday 19 December 2011 17:50

Yes, but then the FML is in past-tense, so saying "now" would make it in the present, which wouldn't make sense, would it?

flockz 19

Monday 19 December 2011 1:59

if your neighbors complain about the noise, say you're watching robot ****.

himoonkey 8

Monday 19 December 2011 2:00

Nah skrillex is boss

M3gzilla 5

Monday 19 December 2011 2:01

You are right!!! Your life does suck, because you are too dumb to realize that Skrillex is amazing

yohooooooo 5

Monday 19 December 2011 2:01

at least rap has a meaning behind every song. dubstep is just a bunch of robotic sex screams put together.

Hellzone17 2

Monday 19 December 2011 2:04

Skrillex is awesome. Just cause its not something your into is no reason to put it down like your the voice for everyone

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Monday 19 December 2011 2:28

Dude. The point is that he has to sit through it since his dad likes it.

akichan15 5

Monday 19 December 2011 3:57

*you're.

cupcake1123 0

Monday 19 December 2011 2:07

no dude, your dad was high.

jessimica642 8

Monday 19 December 2011 6:17

Haha yeah your dads obviously cooler then you

causticgirl 6

Monday 19 December 2011 2:07

It is odd behavior for a dad. Keep a close eye on him. Watch for the signs...check the back of his neck.

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The Top

Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 1 486

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 622

You deserved it 3 020

The Top

Today, some jackass decided that using the back of my car to slow down was easier than using his brakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 917

You deserved it 1 357

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 015

You deserved it 3 370

Today, our 6-month-old is finally sleeping through the night. We thought we'd finally get a good night sleep ourselves, until my dumb husband fell asleep with the tv on and our 5-year-old ended up watching Saw 3 by herself. Now the 5-year-old wakes up with nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 209

You deserved it 611

Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 942

You deserved it 48 194

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 675

You deserved it 6 379

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 531

You deserved it 3 682