Work: Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of...

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 059

You deserved it 4 627

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Da Boss - 05/10/2016 01:19 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 936

You deserved it 1 923

Look up here

By Cody - 06/07/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 930

You deserved it 53 783

Check these bad boys out

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 06:57 - Australia

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 358

You deserved it 40 170

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 033

You deserved it 21 541

Promoted!

By Worst Way To Get Promoted - 25/09/2019 16:00

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 026

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 07/05/2014 20:57 - India - Kundan

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 442

You deserved it 3 522

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 16:29 - United States - Cass Lake

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 455

You deserved it 3 034

By Anonymous - 27/06/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I found out that a co-worker of mine that I had originally hired, trained, and mentored to work in my department for the past 4 years had just got the promotion that I had applied for. He is now my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 950

You deserved it 5 431

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 650

The 1970s called…

By titsmcgee - 11/02/2015 21:51 - United States - Oak Brook

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 234

You deserved it 7 066

iGotBieberFever 0

Monday 5 July 2010 7:45

Find a better job ! Then he'll be begging for you to come back ! FYL

Talez 0

Monday 5 July 2010 7:44

sucks to be you

Comments

AKBO47 0

Monday 5 July 2010 9:26

flash him every morning and he will eventually give you the promotion. and if not. then you must be really ugly. FYL

GiRDEELU 0

Monday 5 July 2010 9:30

LMAOOOOO!!!!!

fashodirrty 0

Monday 5 July 2010 9:39

sex sales!

wishalf 0

Monday 5 July 2010 9:41

get a bigger one

wishalf 0

Monday 5 July 2010 9:41

get a bigger one

canyouwangchung 0

Monday 5 July 2010 9:51

it makes sense sex sells. go back to stocking cans till you can afford a pair yourself.

Ozziefml 0

Monday 5 July 2010 10:11

take some pics

PooPooHeadInc 0

Monday 5 July 2010 10:40

sounds like she sucked his dick

Flipp1 1

Monday 5 July 2010 10:53

it was my mom

zombieboy_fml 0

Monday 5 July 2010 13:53

fake breasts will beat out talent/skill every time

Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Relatable Health Poopoo peepee Parents Creepy Scary Mental health Kids Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Love Dating Tinder Cute Work Transportation Cops Awkward Crush Sports Teachers Education AITA Weddings Public freakouts Mother in law

The Top

Today, I explained to my husband how much it bothers me when he constantly talks about one of his coworkers. He listened closely, never interrupted me, and seemed genuinely sorry afterwards. While he was consoling me and telling me that he'll stop, he called me by her name… three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 54

Today, I'm going through a long dry spell, so I asked my ex-wife and the last woman I was intimate with how they were physically attracted to me. They started listing things like financial stability, trustworthy, safe and nice to talk to. I just wanted to be called handsome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 710

The Top

Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 233

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 261

You deserved it 4 072

Today, I had an important test at 7 in the morning, so I sat the alarm at 6 o'clock and fell asleep. Later I was woken up by a call from my friend asking me why I didn't show up for the test. It was 9:30. I'd sat the alarm at 6:00 PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 566

Today, I was at my boyfriend’s locker during lunch. He shares a locker with my ex. I thought it would be funny to joke around with his Crocs and pretend to cut them. The Crocs cut. I’m now suspended, and I owe my ex a new pair of Crocs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 604

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 364

You deserved it 5 103

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 149

You deserved it 2 367