Intimacy: Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm... - FML

By Black - 12/12/2008 03:31 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 318

You deserved it 3 851

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 6 495

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 3 517

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 100

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 441

You deserved it 4 844

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 514

You deserved it 4 197

Summer lovin'

By I wish I was making this up - 15/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out my cat and my roommate's dog are apparently lesbians who are into what is basically bestiality to us humans. Despite both being female (and fixed), his dog tried to hump my cat, and my cat didn't resist at all. Trying to get his dog off my cat took way more effort than it should have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 112

By catbum - 10/11/2016 03:54 - Canada - Regina

Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 585

You deserved it 1 483

By Darling_Cherry - 02/01/2010 21:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 162

You deserved it 6 936

Nutritious

By Anonymous - 19/07/2020 17:01

Today, I caught my dog “cleaning” the cat’s litter box. He won’t be giving me any kisses anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 277

How could you, Human?

By I'm a dumbass - 27/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 422

Next

Top comments

_incredulous 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 8:20

lock the door some cats can open them

CryingHowls 0

Monday 4 May 2009 21:03

Today, I caught one of my cats humping my huge dog while he was asleep...even they get more action than me. FML

Comments

kurrri 0

Monday 7 June 2010 0:44

Sorry but this is pretty stupid. I don't really think I need to explain why, do i? OP.. you annoy me.

thedeepthinker 0

Friday 23 July 2010 17:32

Looks like I'm not the only one who gets uncontrollably horny....

beautikill 4

Wednesday 28 July 2010 17:52

i lol'd so hard!!!!! hahahahaha

injuryftl 0

Monday 16 August 2010 6:05

My bird (female) likes to hump my dog (female) in the butt..... With her beak >.> but it's safe to say that even my dog gets more than me even if it is unpleasant. FML

xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7

Wednesday 23 March 2011 5:24

wooooooooow

piepieburger 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 7:49

mmmmmm... sexy

iPunchedBigFoot 5

Tuesday 12 October 2010 5:17

Oh ya, well I know friend (your mom) that humps EVERYTHING!!

thedeepthinker 0

Monday 15 November 2010 6:05

Put yourself in the dog's paws for a second. The dog woke up with a cat humping him, that's pretty bad on my scale.

idklalaalala 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 3:12

good call

michael15286 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 5:13

Cat made your dog it's bitch!

whitecloud197 0

Friday 8 April 2011 22:04

hahahaha thats funny shit

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 58 113

You deserved it 5 067

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You deserved it 138

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I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 173

Today, I found out that I get incredibly, disgustingly ill if I eat anything before or during a flight. I discovered this 4 hours into a 23-hour flight to Greece. Only 19 hours of nausea to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 175

You deserved it 309

Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 217