Geek: Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I...

FML for mobile
Free

By Jumanji - 12/12/2008 06:05 - France

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 12 096

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymouse - 09/03/2011 19:37 - Reserved

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 912

You deserved it 42 621

Delays expected

By stampslife - 28/11/2014 08:00 - Canada - Agassiz

Today, I finished watching an entire movie after boarding the plane, before the plane even took off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 826

You deserved it 3 150

Check your head

By Anonymous - 21/03/2020 21:00

Today, while watching a movie on my iPad, a really cute girl sat next to me. Suddenly, everyone on the bus started clapping. I started to clap very loudly as well, asking the girl why we were clapping. She gave me a strange look. I then realized the applause was coming from my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 2 275

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 408

You deserved it 38 359

By Anonyme - 24/04/2014 06:57 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 986

You deserved it 7 766

Getting some action

By hugadyle - 18/04/2020 14:00

Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 186

Phone holder

By my arms hurt - 25/11/2019 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had to sit in between two boys on a two-hour bus ride. They were watching a movie and each of them had shared an earphone. They made me hold the phone up so both of them could see the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 1 887

By zaynemaliksvagina - 24/06/2015 17:10 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 426

You deserved it 1 891

By anona - 08/07/2014 16:29 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 226

You deserved it 65 308

By acnecream - 03/05/2013 13:23 - Finland - Kinnulanlahti

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 73 846

Epikouros 31

Sunday 23 October 2011 21:07

That's annoying. I need at least five minutes of butt-licking to get off, especially on the train, when people are looking.

eve6grl02 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 16:43

gah, ALWAYS preview torrents before watching them in public :P

Comments

mjane 0

Monday 6 April 2009 3:37

thats why you should stream videos

Rape_Laser 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 18:11

so true

NStarB 13

Friday 12 April 2013 21:43

No just use proper sites, and use comments to your advantage

eve6grl02 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 16:43

gah, ALWAYS preview torrents before watching them in public :P

CrunkCupcake97 2

Wednesday 1 July 2009 23:47

oooh that sucks

JesusOfNazareth 16

Thursday 12 June 2014 1:40

Don't you mean that licks?

ramonesmuchacha 0

Friday 3 July 2009 6:12

#1 - buy headphones. wear on train. #2 - preview torrents before watching before live audience. some content not always appropriate lol

redbeater 5

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:56

sucks. I hate shorty torrents. sooo much time to download, and it doesn't work.

slipknot262318 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 6:54

doesn't say he didn't download it legally: iTunes, amazon, etc.

GiddyXD 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 1:39

he didnt say they were torrents guys..

pu13 5

Tuesday 25 May 2010 7:06

u should have checked the size of the file :p

Babydoll4ever 7

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:02

nicee (;

jwrosenau 3

Monday 22 April 2013 8:38

That's what she said

afallingstar 22

Sunday 25 July 2010 20:18

you are a pirate!

rndg 0

Friday 6 August 2010 22:45

Dumbass.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Relatable Periods Money Transportation Cars Animals Cats Embarrassing Neighbours Miscellaneous Kids Parenting Ironic Birthday Love Surprise Cute Awkward Shopping Exhausted Work Job interview Scary Argument Romantic Family Annoying Gross Weird

The Top

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 373

You deserved it 5 283

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 146

You deserved it 9 380

The Top

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 321

You deserved it 14 182

Today, I have a massive crush on a fictional character. Who happens to be an ermine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 1 193

Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 555

You deserved it 4 097

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls, all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 574

You deserved it 23 966

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 799

You deserved it 1 987

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 059

You deserved it 4 426