Geek: Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I...

By Jumanji - 12/12/2008 06:05 - France

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 000

You deserved it 12 087

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Same thing different taste

By anonymouse - 09/03/2011 19:37 - Reserved

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 911

You deserved it 42 611

Delays expected

By stampslife - 28/11/2014 08:00 - Canada - Agassiz

Today, I finished watching an entire movie after boarding the plane, before the plane even took off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 815

You deserved it 3 148

Check your head

By Anonymous - 21/03/2020 21:00

Today, while watching a movie on my iPad, a really cute girl sat next to me. Suddenly, everyone on the bus started clapping. I started to clap very loudly as well, asking the girl why we were clapping. She gave me a strange look. I then realized the applause was coming from my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 2 268

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 407

You deserved it 38 347

By Anonyme - 24/04/2014 06:57 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 981

You deserved it 7 765

Getting some action

By hugadyle - 18/04/2020 14:00

Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 184

Phone holder

By my arms hurt - 25/11/2019 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had to sit in between two boys on a two-hour bus ride. They were watching a movie and each of them had shared an earphone. They made me hold the phone up so both of them could see the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 1 883

By zaynemaliksvagina - 24/06/2015 17:10 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 421

You deserved it 1 891

By anona - 08/07/2014 16:29 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 225

You deserved it 65 298

By acnecream - 03/05/2013 13:23 - Finland - Kinnulanlahti

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 308

You deserved it 73 832

Epikouros 31

Sunday 23 October 2011 21:07

That's annoying. I need at least five minutes of butt-licking to get off, especially on the train, when people are looking.

eve6grl02 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 16:43

gah, ALWAYS preview torrents before watching them in public :P

Comments

mjane 0

Monday 6 April 2009 3:37

thats why you should stream videos

Rape_Laser 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 18:11

so true

NStarB 13

Friday 12 April 2013 21:43

No just use proper sites, and use comments to your advantage

eve6grl02 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 16:43

gah, ALWAYS preview torrents before watching them in public :P

CrunkCupcake97 2

Wednesday 1 July 2009 23:47

oooh that sucks

JesusOfNazareth 16

Thursday 12 June 2014 1:40

Don't you mean that licks?

ramonesmuchacha 0

Friday 3 July 2009 6:12

#1 - buy headphones. wear on train. #2 - preview torrents before watching before live audience. some content not always appropriate lol

redbeater 5

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:56

sucks. I hate shorty torrents. sooo much time to download, and it doesn't work.

slipknot262318 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 6:54

doesn't say he didn't download it legally: iTunes, amazon, etc.

GiddyXD 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 1:39

he didnt say they were torrents guys..

pu13 5

Tuesday 25 May 2010 7:06

u should have checked the size of the file :p

Babydoll4ever 7

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:02

nicee (;

jwrosenau 3

Monday 22 April 2013 8:38

That's what she said

afallingstar 22

Sunday 25 July 2010 20:18

you are a pirate!

rndg 0

Friday 6 August 2010 22:45

Dumbass.

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The Top

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 875

You deserved it 2 095

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 830

The Top

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 336

You deserved it 4 027

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 398

You deserved it 3 466

Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 2 267

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 719

You deserved it 5 774

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 292

You deserved it 24 356

Today, my husband referred to me as his “roommate” when I came home from work and saw his female coworker here for a visit. The one he has “work conversations” with at 11 pm. I've talked to him about it and he tells me I’m being paranoid and unreasonable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 158