Intimacy: Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents....

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 06:35 - United States

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 362

You deserved it 275 713

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Same thing different taste

Great, just great

By Norwegian - 02/06/2012 16:55 - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 060

You deserved it 7 476

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 097

You deserved it 8 895

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 469

You deserved it 18 537

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 14:06 - Canada

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 909

You deserved it 39 529

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 450

You deserved it 2 611

By mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 561

You deserved it 12 437

By Keith walk - 12/02/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 296

You deserved it 22 930

By loganHchrist - 09/01/2014 00:53 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 035

You deserved it 4 973

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 758

You deserved it 6 944

Excuse me

By Anonymous - 30/03/2015 10:30 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 319

You deserved it 3 800

ImmaB3AST 7

Saturday 10 September 2011 16:55

You deserve that shit. ******* dumbass

McAninch35 9

Saturday 10 September 2011 16:57

Go dad.

Comments

alexdeka 1

Sunday 11 September 2011 0:45

**** your dad

nonamericandolla 6

Sunday 11 September 2011 0:51

Did u cheat on her, u bustard! U deserve it!!!she should have have slapped u!

VikingPrincess19_fml 9

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:02

I hope she dumped your pathetic sorry ass!

sideshowIFG 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:15

Wow can't even believe your complaining.

McQuack_fml 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:17

Don't hate the player, hate the game

ramband2009 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 19:07

Oh that's clever. Think of that all by yourself from your parents basement? Go wank it to some anime **** and let the adults talk now.

Cram_Burglar 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:25

Ydi, and your dad probably meant to do that to teach you a lesson, infidel

spicy7777 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:28

douche!

Googoo27 12

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:35

OP, ur a busy guy eh?

shrimpygymnast 9

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:35

fukin cheater ydi

Monkeymaddie1 1

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:35

Wow that was a dumb ass move bro

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 130

You deserved it 6 971

Today, while I was using the bathroom at work, I heard someone come into the stall next to mine and start talking. Thinking they were on the phone, I stayed quiet… but then they said, “I know it’s you, Jennifer.” My name isn't Jennifer. I had to sit there in silence until they left, pretending to be someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 985

You deserved it 1 842

Today, I had unprotected sex with my 63 year-old friend. I’ve been told I would have trouble ever conceiving naturally. Now he’s worried I'm pregnant. It wouldn’t be so bad if his we weren’t both married. Here’s to hoping I’m not, and if so this baby comes out with brown eyes like mine and my husband's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 918

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 230

You deserved it 23 004

Today, I had the most amazing lesbian sex of my life with this girl I had been crushing on for so long. Today is also the day I became practically homeless, courtesy of my parents, who apparently never heard of knocking before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 341

Today, I noticed that the glasses I got this week seemed off balance. A further inspection showed that one of my ears is bigger than the other. Through even further inspection, my family concluded that the entire right side of my body is higher than my left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 167

Today, I've been bedridden with the flu for two weeks. My boyfriend only got concerned because I haven't done any laundry, and was worried about what the girls at the coffee shop across from work would think if he turned up wearing the same clothes two days in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 129

Same thing different taste

Great, just great

Parental advice

Excuse me

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