Animals: Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and...

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 5 305

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Same thing different taste

By Koko - 07/04/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 785

You deserved it 1 942

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 187

You deserved it 5 723

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 10 786

Bad boy

By Rich - 19/05/2010 20:43 - United States

Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 297

You deserved it 4 620

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 8 456

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 810

You deserved it 4 128

By furryfriend - 16/09/2014 18:46 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 099

You deserved it 3 974

Mud bogging

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 22:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 525

You deserved it 3 240

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 660

iJeremyTyler 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:39

You're his territory now.

dolphincheddar 10

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:39

Maybe roleplaying as a fire hydrant isn't a good idea

Comments

life2007 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 5:27

your dog owns you...show the dog who is boss

RockRoll 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 6:37

Lol. "Running at my happily".

sillystephhy 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 6:38

were u wearing a yellow shirt?

cimh 9

Wednesday 3 August 2011 8:48

He was just marking his territory!

CoryX 9

Wednesday 3 August 2011 8:58

why not just move out of the way? I'd imagine you'd have at least a few seconds to react

Deathhound 27

Wednesday 3 August 2011 9:05

Haha, he wanted to show, that you are his! :D :D

Enigmax2514 7

Wednesday 3 August 2011 9:19

Awww that's so sweet he is marking you as his property... Oh no wait.......

Petronix 5

Wednesday 3 August 2011 12:12

So you stand there and let him pee on you? Seems you're more submissive than the dog will ever be.

ScubaSteve96 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 15:28

Dang what a tease

jren207 24

Wednesday 3 August 2011 17:51

That's affection for you.

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The Top

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 139

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, I bought tomato sauce and tomato paste to make rigatoni. Forgot to buy the meat and the pasta. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 966

Today, my dad told my girlfriend that she's the son he never had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 841

You deserved it 2 261

Today, a woman threatened to stab my eyes out because I wouldn't let her into the shop I closed and locked up half an hour ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 865

You deserved it 818

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 305

You deserved it 3 616

Today, I received the final piece of puzzle that my boyfriend of two years has been sending me through the mail for the last week. Turns out, it wasn't a love letter like I originally thought it was. He was breaking up with me via a puzzle through the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 282

You deserved it 3 593

Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 205

You deserved it 4 275

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

Mud bogging

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