Health: Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended....

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 586

You deserved it 39 979

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Same thing different taste

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 017

You deserved it 24 811

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 461

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 589

You deserved it 51 118

By blotchy-girl - 15/07/2009 04:00 - New Zealand

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 064

You deserved it 6 737

By fishwizard - 02/06/2017 20:00

Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 735

You deserved it 3 973

By Wannabees - 03/04/2012 05:13 - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 37 775

Trumped

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 18:00

Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 1 732

By betterthanhodor - 03/06/2015 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 139

You deserved it 5 953

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 166

You deserved it 21 754

By Sally - 22/08/2011 00:17 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 899

You deserved it 69 426

Rockmannerman 2

Monday 10 January 2011 23:15

There is nothing wrong with being pale! I'd rather be white as snow than look like a leather handbag!

Doortje 29

Monday 10 January 2011 23:34

You should do the same with hairdye. Apply it, go to sleep, wake up hours later and discover your green hair. You'll look like a walking carrot!

Comments

Doortje 29

Monday 10 January 2011 23:34

You should do the same with hairdye. Apply it, go to sleep, wake up hours later and discover your green hair. You'll look like a walking carrot!

SneakBS 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:21

lol!

CommentKing207 23

Monday 6 July 2015 7:14

OOMPA LOOMPA

mrahhhhh 21

Monday 10 January 2011 23:34

YDI for tanning. Enjoy your melanoma, jackass!

cradle6 13

Monday 10 January 2011 23:40

Wow, what an ignorant comment. 1. The girl wasnt even tanning, she used a sunless tanning lotion. 2. Human beings are meant to be in the sun, what do you think our ancient ancestors did? Hid under a tree their entire lives? Also vitamin D is essential to our lives, and even helps "cancel out" the negative affects of the sun.

DocBastard 38

Monday 10 January 2011 23:45

Ancient humans also lived to be 35 or 40 years old. Fortunately for us MODERN humans, we have something that the ancient humans didn't have - medical science. We know that a lot of things that used to be thought of as beneficial aren't that good for you after all. Unfortunately for you, your comment is even more ignorant than mrahhhhh's.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 11 January 2011 2:33

Usually, when you're dying because you got trampled by a mammoth, or because you got an infection from some small cut that didn't heal, you don't worry about sun exposure. It wasn't until lifespans started getting above the half century mark that people started being concerned about stuff like cancer.

sandabelle25 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 3:31

dont forget the sun gives us Vit D which we need to be happy

kofinater 3

Tuesday 11 January 2011 3:55

Well, ancient Humans did originate in Africa so they likely had dark skin like my self to protect from the sun. the op is from Denmark and is probably fair skinned because for her more recent ancestors' pale skin would be advantages for the cold, sun deprived climate.

mrahhhhh 21

Tuesday 11 January 2011 8:42

Oh man, I made a mistake bad... "embarrased" Sorry OP, but still, being tan is not as beautiful as you would think. Despite all the shows that portray us as evenly tanned supermodels, I can tell you that even here in Southern California, those with tans are seen as douchebags, idiots or both. And we got fat people too. Tans just aren't that great.

kittykail13 2

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:31

I don't know why anyone isn't just saying this.. Melanoma is caused by the suns rays. Not by lotion. Also, I have been tanning recently and have yet to be diagnosed with Skin Cancer.

kittykail13 2

Thursday 12 July 2012 17:33

WTF? I have visited California many times and no one ever talks about tan people being douche's, or idiots. That is so judgmental, rude, and untrue.

cradle6 13

Monday 10 January 2011 23:35

Just go outside for 15 minutes each side a day. Not that hard

SmallTownCutie 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:38

doesn't always work.

cradle6 13

Monday 10 January 2011 23:42

Takes consistency. You can't do it for a week and give up.

SmallTownCutie 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:46

I was out all summer. It depends on the person. I don't tan well.

xFalzz 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:35

Also, Oompa*

Ninjafriends 1

Monday 10 January 2011 23:39

The only way to fix this problem is to draw some black stripes on yourself and start your new life as a tiger.

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 10 January 2011 23:42

You missed a spot on your back. Its in the shape of a toilet plunger.

iluvfmls456 0

Monday 10 January 2011 23:47

ydi. that stuff never works.

stevenmx86 7

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:00

No shit what did you think would happen?

InBetweenDreams 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:00

Snooki!! :P You should go to the Jersey Shore where you'll blend in with all the other orange people. :P

furburger 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:01

Orange you glad she didn't say Banana? But, seriously, self-confidence doesn't come in the form of a rub-on tan. You either got it or you want it. Can't buy it.