Health: Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended....

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 586

You deserved it 39 979

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 017

You deserved it 24 811

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 461

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 589

You deserved it 51 118

By blotchy-girl - 15/07/2009 04:00 - New Zealand

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 064

You deserved it 6 737

By fishwizard - 02/06/2017 20:00

Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 735

You deserved it 3 973

By Wannabees - 03/04/2012 05:13 - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 37 775

Trumped

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 18:00

Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 1 732

By betterthanhodor - 03/06/2015 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 139

You deserved it 5 953

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 166

You deserved it 21 754

By Sally - 22/08/2011 00:17 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 899

You deserved it 69 426

Rockmannerman 2

Monday 10 January 2011 23:15

There is nothing wrong with being pale! I'd rather be white as snow than look like a leather handbag!

Doortje 29

Monday 10 January 2011 23:34

You should do the same with hairdye. Apply it, go to sleep, wake up hours later and discover your green hair. You'll look like a walking carrot!

Comments

BWill9014 4

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:03

Everyone knows the lotions don't work...

perdix 29

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:11

It's not so bad. One of "you people" just became the Speaker of the House here in the US. Now, if you can get Syracuse University to stop mocking you, life would get even better for those of the orange persuasion.

fearfulsymmetry 1

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:30

One of your best posts yet.

SkateboardGirl88 11

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:29

classic!

powerslave117 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:45

snookkiee

popsvb01 9

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:47

What's the need to be tan in January in Denmark???

Dogbite1313 5

Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:51

That would be why if I want a tan I get an airbrushed one they look real. I would rather be pale then look like someones handbag, which I do if I lay out or use a tanning bed, because it is so hard for me to get a tan.

AWESOMExPOSSUM 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 1:00

good job Snooky!

seeinghourglass 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 18:39

Snooki*

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Tuesday 11 January 2011 1:04

Yes, yes. The OP must be an elite humanoid! He too fears the sun so he got sunless tan lotion! The sun is dangerous so he used an alternative! The rest of the human race must convert! If you don't go outside you can be leather bag orange! Repent, repent I say!

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Tuesday 11 January 2011 11:02

You can wind up with that leather look from laying out in the sun as well, or just being in the sun too often without sunscreen. This is really more of an everything in moderation type of situation.