Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that I've spent so much time playing Sudoku...

By sudoku_fiend - 13/12/2015 04:40 - United States - Millville

Today, I discovered that I've spent so much time playing Sudoku in the bathroom at work that I've trained myself to need to pee whenever I open the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 682

You deserved it 5 825

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 25/05/2015 01:14 - United States - Twinsburg

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 116

You deserved it 12 104

By bobo - 24/04/2011 01:02 - Canada

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 063

You deserved it 52 963

By walnutbladder - 07/01/2011 21:46 - United States

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 815

You deserved it 4 079

By toilet on the clock - 08/06/2016 10:40 - China - Guangzhou

Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets about who uses the toilets, when and for how long, and then make bets on who will take the longest toilet break, who will use it the most often, etc. Now I constantly look at my watch whenever I use the toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 777

You deserved it 1 273

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 623

You deserved it 6 750

Keeping warm

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 11:01

Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 305

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 914

You deserved it 7 112

By littleman - 06/04/2012 11:32 - United States

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 454

You deserved it 2 984

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 129

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 044

You deserved it 5 053

hoosiergirl94 31

Sunday 13 December 2015 18:54

Just don't open it at your desk

jayennachristine 23

Sunday 13 December 2015 18:57

sounds like you play it a little too much

Comments

Damarcus 22

Sunday 13 December 2015 22:52

Classical conditioning

niiickk_ 7

Sunday 13 December 2015 23:03

urine leaky situation

lainlain_fml 15

Sunday 13 December 2015 23:24

That's awesome.

datkenna 20

Sunday 13 December 2015 23:45

Classical conditioning at its finest

californian21 13

Monday 14 December 2015 1:56

Be glad it's just pee and nothing else....

Utetopia2014 18

Monday 14 December 2015 4:29

Jesus... what are you? Pavlov's dog?

lostinareverie 21

Monday 14 December 2015 5:16

Paging Pavlov!

samlovesham1234 9

Monday 14 December 2015 7:19

I take that you weren't on the toilet then?

petert71 10

Monday 14 December 2015 8:00

Guess where I am as I write this. FML too!

enginsteve 17

Monday 14 December 2015 8:42

I did the same thing with the FML app.

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The Top

Today, I deleted all of my dating apps because apparently something is wrong with me. I've been on 20 different dates this year and nothing has come out of it. I feel like I have the plague and no one wants to be near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 141

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 32 189

The Top

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 101

Today, my mom won’t let me go to my boyfriend’s apartment. She says it’s because “I know what you guys are gonna do there I’m not stupid.” She threatened to kick me out of the house if I go. I’m 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 338

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 584

You deserved it 6 423

Today, I had to purchase an app to communicate with my ex-wife. She's too stupid to figure out how to unblock me in Hotmail so we can coordinate kid schedules. She is a control freak and regularly blocks/unblocks me depending on the time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 220

Today, my friend invited me to go on vacation with her and friends, saying we would all share a suite. I booked my flight. The trip is almost here and she now tells me there is no room for me and I have to get my own room. This is the second time she has done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 038

You deserved it 2 295

Today, I heard the very loud buzzing of a fly nearby, and I felt a tingly sensation on my arm. I thought there was a fly on my arm; I was half-right. There were, in fact, two flies having sex on my arm. That's something I will never unsee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 266

Same thing different taste

Keeping warm

Overdoing it

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