Health, Sex and Intimacy: Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection,...

By Username - 09/08/2011 00:03 - United States

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 750

You deserved it 13 530

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Same thing different taste

By frustrated - 30/10/2009 04:17 - Australia

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 668

You deserved it 2 611

Leg day

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 12:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 892

Nutty

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 280

Missing

By SignificantShrinkage - 08/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 972

You deserved it 1 921

In shape

By emmy - 01/04/2021 14:01

Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 109

By Dooh - 17/01/2012 23:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 5 024

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 639

You deserved it 134 209

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 832

You deserved it 3 909

By Anonymous - 21/07/2015 17:50 - India - Bangalore

Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 900

You deserved it 8 284

By anonymous - 24/11/2015 19:38 - Switzerland - Unterageri

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 113

You deserved it 3 011

markrs 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:10

You're dicksfunctional

DrDiamond 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 8:58

Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind

Comments

SuperDumbNerd 9

Wednesday 27 February 2013 14:09

Steroids will really mess u up.

Euronymous93 29

Wednesday 21 August 2013 2:59

OP deserves it if he's taking steroids.

hordriss 14

Tuesday 16 April 2013 13:47

This is why you need to quit taking steroids.

bobak_can_ani 7

Wednesday 10 July 2013 0:58

Just workout? Are you sure you haven't been using hormone shots before?

jimmyvelazco 7

Sunday 2 March 2014 22:55

maybe you Should stay from steroids.

KuKluxCatz 8

Sunday 3 August 2014 8:37

Are you taking any sort of steroids at all?/If so, there's your answer....Sorry

ghostriley 14

Monday 4 May 2015 22:19

You should get that checked out

e_li613 11

Wednesday 16 December 2015 18:03

you might be working out too hard and blowing your cns. tone the workouts down a bit?

gatorgirl7563 22

Monday 1 February 2016 17:32

The problem is that by exercising, you are stimulating your muscles, which increases their blood flow, and you have so many/such big muscles that your body can't spare for any/enough blood to be sent to your penis.