Health, Sex and Intimacy: Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection,...

By Username - 09/08/2011 00:03 - United States

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 750

You deserved it 13 530

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Same thing different taste

By frustrated - 30/10/2009 04:17 - Australia

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 668

You deserved it 2 611

Leg day

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 12:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 892

Nutty

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 280

Missing

By SignificantShrinkage - 08/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 972

You deserved it 1 921

In shape

By emmy - 01/04/2021 14:01

Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 109

By Dooh - 17/01/2012 23:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 5 024

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 639

You deserved it 134 209

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 832

You deserved it 3 909

By Anonymous - 21/07/2015 17:50 - India - Bangalore

Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 900

You deserved it 8 284

By anonymous - 24/11/2015 19:38 - Switzerland - Unterageri

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 113

You deserved it 3 011

markrs 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:10

You're dicksfunctional

DrDiamond 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 8:58

Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind

Comments

liquidkittens 0

Friday 12 August 2011 11:46

Steroids cause flaccidity.

sweetie_pie_HA 1

Friday 12 August 2011 12:35

I'd go to a doctor if ya ain't of the steroids!

balljoints 8

Saturday 13 August 2011 0:57

Maybe it's not so much the work out but something you're taking before the work out. Steroids or whatever perhaps.

blarghonk117 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:06

dont take steroids

OsirisFaction_fml 5

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:08

Perhaps stop taking steroids?

aksavariau 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 2:14

No some steroids cause the testes to shrink but that wouldn't knock woody out... Gotta stop taking the NO2 bro too much blood flow to the wrong areas

trnthood1 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 6:43

Post workout chode that sux

CarsAndMoney 5

Saturday 13 August 2011 11:29

Wow you explained something I've been wondering about for ever now. Why I never had in erection while doing gymnastics with all those girls around me. So I guess its a good thing this happens ?