Money: Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell...

By Luke - 07/11/2011 14:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 385

You deserved it 36 391

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 14:34 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 073

You deserved it 3 223

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 005

You deserved it 3 371

Stunlocked

By RoyBoy - 26/07/2021 18:01

Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 612

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 16:09 - Guatemala

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 118

You deserved it 3 176

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 950

You deserved it 2 845

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 04:04 - United States

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 605

You deserved it 3 719

By sorrystupid - 02/06/2015 07:42 - United States

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 480

You deserved it 5 295

Nice guy to the rescue

By Anonymous - 24/01/2022 01:59

Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 1 369

Adding annoyance to almost injury

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, while I was walking to my car, I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 775

You deserved it 2 828

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 333

RetardedBullFrog 4

Monday 7 November 2011 18:45

"Imma call the cops !!! . . . when I get home . . ."

tylersign 11

Monday 7 November 2011 18:55

*mugger steals landline*

Comments

zyron7568 0

Monday 7 November 2011 21:52

Next time just ask the guy to slit your throat... It would be a smarter move.

Jewdazking23 5

Tuesday 8 November 2011 0:32

Cool profile pic, sweet cat

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 8 November 2011 4:33

What cat? I don't see any pussy in his pic!

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 8 November 2011 4:58

It's in the awesome car. With the guy that owns it.

jimbobpro87 0

Monday 7 November 2011 21:56

smart one dumb one

Relaxter 1

Monday 7 November 2011 22:16

Why did you tell him what you were going do, my advice, Nike: just do it

daydreamer244 13

Monday 7 November 2011 23:12

Dumbass.....

12chris 0

Monday 7 November 2011 23:14

Why didn't you just tell him your social security number to confirm your identity as well?

GraceKathryn97 0

Monday 7 November 2011 23:16

Not very bright are ya?

Person1233 12

Monday 7 November 2011 23:19

Oh baby...

chels1994 11

Monday 7 November 2011 23:27

you basically just offered your cell up

Jewdazking23 5

Monday 7 November 2011 23:31

I'll remember that when I'm being stupid today

brdude 9

Monday 7 November 2011 23:51

You're lucky he didn't try to hit or even kill you, seriously.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 101

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 795

You deserved it 3 699

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 3 763

Today, I got chewed out by my boss for not doing my job. Turns out what's described in my job description, contract, and job title isn't my job. My real job is outlined in the footnote of my contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 780

You deserved it 589

Today, I had a job interview at Walmart. They showed a video of me stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 1 969

Today, I’m camping in the middle of nowhere and my mom wrote me not one, but two emails asking where my car keys are, because she needs to move my car. She apparently did not think to check in the key cabinet first. You know, the one where we keep… keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 104

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 145

You deserved it 3 215