Intimacy: Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding...

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By Anonymous - 06/09/2010 04:20 - United States

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 622

You deserved it 3 680

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Same thing different taste

By I_Has_A_Fishy - 10/07/2012 19:33 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

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You deserved it 3 459

The Lovecats

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 05:00 - United States

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 135

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 613

You deserved it 5 197

Fingered

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 12:00 - Egypt

Today, I discovered that my husband doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. Too bad I got to found out after three years of marriage, and while his finger was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 200

By krabby patty - 25/05/2018 06:00

Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 512

You deserved it 1 627

Doggy dog world

By HereKittyKitty - 01/12/2013 20:27 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 916

You deserved it 2 888

This is us

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 19:59

Today, my husband asked me to check his asshole to see if his haemorrhoid had grown any bigger. This is my life now, all romance gone, and having to check his hairy ringpiece every day, and our kids wonder why I drink before I can fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 469

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 10:51 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 278

You deserved it 2 754

Common passion

By ShowerheadGirl - 09/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 172

You deserved it 25 265

By randomjulz - 16/06/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 278

You deserved it 9 981

FYLDeep 25

Monday 6 September 2010 12:24

Ask him to bend over so you can get a better look, then shove a ***** deep inside. Or better yet, get out the strap-on like the FML a few days back.

Mirorbo 26

Monday 6 September 2010 12:14

Ehhhhh....disturbing on a very high level....

Comments

awesomesauce8 0

Monday 6 September 2010 13:22

bahahaha. yucky.

perdix 29

Monday 6 September 2010 13:31

You should have said, "No, but there's a little, bitty one sticking out just above your balls."

scarletscribblez 0

Monday 6 September 2010 13:42

LMFAO... How the hell are you so funny O_o

kiraster 3

Monday 6 September 2010 21:36

hahaha!!!! that just made my day!!

scarletscribblez 0

Monday 6 September 2010 13:36

Haha.. Yeah ... I don't blame him. When I was like 9 my mum would always say worms would grow in my stomach if I didn't brush my teeth before bed.... One day I was in the washroom when I thought I saw something coming out of my belly button. I started screaming and bawling for my parents to come .... Turns out it was lint. Not fun. Your husband has a valid reason for paranoïa! Haha! (Good tiimes lol)