Health: Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing... - FML

By mcdonalds - 06/08/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 234

You deserved it 4 866

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, my eye started hurting with unbelievable pain. I couldn't see out of it and I asked my father if he would take me to the hospital, since it was hurting so bad. He said he had to wait for the pizza he ordered for delivery. I had to call a cab to go to the emergency room because of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 533

You deserved it 3 077

By cherknobil - 07/07/2019 00:00

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw. The employees had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 201

Priorities, mate

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident. When my dad came to pick me up, instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when we went to the hospital, while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 970

You deserved it 4 158

By oppafucktardstyle - 14/10/2012 20:36 - United States - Waterloo

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 492

You deserved it 1 626

Priorities

By sprained neck - 24/11/2015 05:49

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 055

You deserved it 1 532

By anonymous - 10/01/2010 05:55 - United States

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 937

You deserved it 3 335

By anon - 31/07/2014 03:12 - Canada - Goderich

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 789

You deserved it 3 442

Get some rest

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 18:01

Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 135

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - 06/06/2014 23:09 - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 351

You deserved it 4 332

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 04:12 - Canada - Kingston

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 982

You deserved it 4 735

Next

Top comments

MrPortalFan 21

Tuesday 6 August 2013 12:02

Did he get you one?

Hunthas 17

Tuesday 6 August 2013 12:01

Cheeseburgers are worth it

Comments

Belthazor_fml 5

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:32

LMFAO!!!! Reminds me of that episode of Family Guy....

avoiding_fog 4

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:38

a dislocated joint is not that serious so i can see where hebwas going with that

Savner 16

Tuesday 6 August 2013 20:53

Priorities

greggly123 6

Tuesday 6 August 2013 20:58

And fries??

GothicAngel95 16

Tuesday 6 August 2013 22:26

Is your father Peter Griffin?

blvcklvnd69 14

Tuesday 6 August 2013 22:43

suck your dick for a cheese burger

MandySkittles 18

Tuesday 6 August 2013 22:55

How dare you be so selfish OP! Your dad must have been starving!! But really, that's awful FYL.

sehrgutmann 19

Tuesday 6 August 2013 23:19

who are these uncaring parents!!??

andrejba69 14

Tuesday 6 August 2013 23:55

so American

Guardian88 21

Tuesday 6 August 2013 23:58

Man up, pop it back in place!!!

3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Awkward Gifts Kids Money Alcohol Addiction Love Health Racism Sexism Work Coworkers Sex Bodyshaming Annoying Parenting Accident Miscellaneous Intimacy Poopoo peepee Cute Weddings Sports AITA Erratas Ironic Neighbours Housework Home improvement Cleaning

The Top

Today, I had to listen from the next room as my dad cheated on his girlfriend with his married boss. He's 57, looks like a troll, and doesn't smell much better than one either. Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 799

You deserved it 1 629

Today, I was washing a sink full of lettuce that I'd grown, which had been in the hot sun. My husband was preparing fish for dinner and took all the juices that had drained off the raw fish, reached over my shoulder, and dumped the juice on my lettuce. I asked if that was the fish juice. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 901

You deserved it 3 541

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 6 922

Today, my boyfriend of seven and a half years broke up with me. By text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 299

You deserved it 317

Today, during a routine visit to the dentist, she advised me to get root canal treatment done, to avoid any future pain. As we are traveling abroad where we won't have insurance, my husband is forcing me to get RCT within four days. I'm in so so much pain, life is hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 147

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 624

You deserved it 4 922

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 149

You deserved it 14 382