Miscellaneous: Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

By woahitbechels - 25/04/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 986

You deserved it 12 594

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Same thing different taste

By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 4 986

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 113

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 25/09/2015 20:14 - Germany

Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 567

You deserved it 2 516

By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 641

You deserved it 3 679

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 045

You deserved it 2 323

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 367

You deserved it 5 212

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 406

You deserved it 5 960

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 243

You deserved it 10 963

Secret sex

By anonymous - 01/12/2019 14:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I had a dream that I had secret sex with Dumbledore more than once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 457

Woah

By Hopeless - 04/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 290

LuckyLogic 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:00

Did you drink tiger blood?

Bill3485 3

Monday 25 April 2011 9:05

fyl? no way, your life is #winning!

Comments

truthinlies 1

Monday 25 April 2011 20:33

lol just ..... lol

GreeneyedWonder 0

Monday 25 April 2011 21:13

Did he take you to his home planet of Mars?

darkslayr114 0

Monday 25 April 2011 21:17

WINNING!!!!

amybaby9090 0

Monday 25 April 2011 21:22

whoa! cant handle it!

Riddles66 0

Monday 25 April 2011 21:23

Man I want your dreams!! Charlie Sheen is my babie daddy :D

cardoor12 0

Monday 25 April 2011 21:25

yesss omg me too

jessieboobear19 1

Monday 25 April 2011 21:33

is that. bad thing ?

ihaspanda 0

Monday 25 April 2011 21:38

sounds awesome!

Chaos5 0

Monday 25 April 2011 22:04

Winning!

Mooshoo123 0

Monday 25 April 2011 22:30

best damn dream. being kidnapped by a drug addict with tigers blood and thts winning is pretty ******* funny

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

Today, I realized that I’ve been using the same alarm clock ringtone for so long that I now associate it with pure dread, even when I hear it being used in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 329

You deserved it 5 165

Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 174

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 002

You deserved it 5 813

Today, my cheating ex is still happily married with his new wife and kids 4 years after he left me for her. Meanwhile, I keep getting ghosted, left on “Read/Seen”, and getting a guy to be into me is like pulling teeth. I think it’s time to throw the towel on love and die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 206

Today, I was rear-ended while heading to my appointment with my physiotherapist. This is the physiotherapist I am seeing to treat the pinched disc I got from being rear-ended 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 394

You deserved it 430

Today, although the I’ve always kept my pubic hair neat and trimmed, my boyfriend once again complained that I don’t shave. When I told him that shaving is uncomfortable and risks ingrown hairs, he sulked and said, “But it’ll look so much better!” He needs to lay off the porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 240

You deserved it 638