Work: Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However,...

By Almostfunny - 16/03/2011 13:01 - United States

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 354

You deserved it 52 244

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Same thing different taste

Slipped up

By hate my job - 24/09/2021 20:00

Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 980

By fuck you, tasha - 24/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 8 643

Source?

By Anonymous - 05/11/2018 15:30

Today, I accidentally put down the wrong year for my university graduation, so when my prospective boss was checking my references he found no mention of my name in that year's list of graduates. He accused me of faking my qualifications and refused to hire me. It was a 6-figure salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 276

You deserved it 3 599

By captainfail - 14/07/2009 15:27 - Germany

Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 627

You deserved it 74 999

By anonymouschicka - 01/08/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 254

You deserved it 54 439

By waitingformyfoodstamps - 24/01/2009 10:50 - United States

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 8 395

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 05:25 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 427

You deserved it 7 014

By dumbass - 12/01/2017 09:37

Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for a journalism job interview, asking for him to take a look and give opinions about it. I accidentally e-mailed it to the job interviewer. She responded, and even CCed it to the CEO. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 668

You deserved it 2 326

By Anonymous - 22/09/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 094

You deserved it 53 013

By sam - 26/10/2017 08:00 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 3 634

canadapresch 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 18:52

Your American boss probably won't know there is a Prime Minister of Canada.

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Wednesday 16 March 2011 18:51

Did ya get the job?(:

Comments

HarlemzAngelita 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 1:58

lmfaoooo

truehitman2010 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 2:02

@142 you mean at retards R us

julieseattle 4

Thursday 17 March 2011 2:25

This just cracks me up

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Thursday 17 March 2011 2:30

I'll hire you.

ryanc14 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 2:51

Lol

fred88_fml 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 2:53

learn to ******* sarcasm, stupid americans.

OCDC 9

Thursday 17 March 2011 4:27

Is sarcasm a verb now? I don't think you have any room to be calling people stupid.

heyred 11

Thursday 17 March 2011 3:01

Canada? That was the best you could do?!

holymolybro 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 3:02

This is hoe-larious. But it's easy to fix. Call him and tell him.

mk58 31

Thursday 17 March 2011 3:16

Thank you! Finally someone says something that makes sense!

BallsMcLongcock4 8

Thursday 17 March 2011 3:34

Wow your really screwed than because we don't even have a president :)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 636

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I asked a stranger for directions and then drove in the opposite direction they'd pointed to, all because my ADHD brain did that thing where I couldn't pay attention past their first instruction, which to me sounded like, "Take the first left, then the second right, then fla flafla fla flaflafla." FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 317

The Top

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 530

You deserved it 244 082

Today, I went to the DMV to get my license. I almost ran over my evaluator as he was walking to get in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 008

You deserved it 24 590

Today, my younger brother called me saying he's getting married. Now, I have to attend my ex's wedding. I'm the best man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 964

You deserved it 3 200

Today, I came home from work early only to find my naked roommate in the living room with his ass in the air. Apparently, he was doing an experiment to see if you can launch a ball of tissue paper into the air by placing it on your bare anus and farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 095

You deserved it 221

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 14 868

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 143

You deserved it 3 607

Same thing different taste

Slipped up

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