Intimacy: Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of...

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 711

You deserved it 7 584

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Same thing different taste

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 138

By ow - 13/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 007

You deserved it 4 775

Priorities

By elly - 08/04/2021 14:00

Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 175

By erianne - 07/05/2018 15:00

Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 879

You deserved it 611

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 779

By Anonymous - 26/07/2018 01:30

Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 830

You deserved it 267

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 845

You deserved it 6 933

By lowly101 - 09/08/2016 19:15

Today, I stood up at my desk and fell. I landed on the arm of my desk chair. There was a loud crack when the plastic in the chair broke. My co-workers heard. They didn't come to check on me because I didn't scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 528

You deserved it 1 477

By Anonymous - 07/05/2011 00:22 - United States

Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 519

You deserved it 4 694

By stupidneighbor - 04/03/2009 17:03 - United States

Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 187

You deserved it 3 539

HoorayForFML 0

Monday 24 August 2009 16:35

What an awkward thing to shout upon hurting yourself. O_o

ydi_bitch 0

Monday 24 August 2009 16:47

YDI for having sex with the chair

Comments

plexico 3

Monday 24 August 2009 17:37

When I get hurt, I don't waste time with the pronouns or adjectives. It's like a Morse code of "*****" and "*****." PS: There is now scientific evidence that swearing when you get hurt actually makes you feel better. Forget about saying "fudge."

CyclonePsycho 1

Monday 24 August 2009 18:05

I'm exactly the same way. *stubs toe* "****, ****, ****, dammit, ****, arg, dammit" It's almost musical. :3

redbluegreen 40

Monday 24 August 2009 19:31

I knew there was a reason I woke up today. ^_^ Although, personally, I start swearing in Japanese when I get hurt.

xoerica9 0

Monday 24 August 2009 20:23

LMFAO! "its almost musical" that just made my day!

waterynuggets 0

Monday 24 August 2009 21:59

Haha there is something called the "***** You Symphony"

Intoxicunt 5

Tuesday 25 August 2009 7:47

I saw the same study about a month ago. But it works best if you're not used to swearing. They performed the test based on how long one could keep their hand in ice. Also, it's not the yelling that helps. The study proved yelling out words to describe a table didn't help at all, whereas using actual curse words did. So interesting, the human mind.....

gothic_cat_lady 0

Monday 24 August 2009 18:45

hahaha I better stop yelling that when I hurt myself. Although it's kind of weird that the neighbor would knock, I could see if the "sex noises" were going on for like 15 minutes or more but not after one outburst.

Dragonmouth 4

Monday 24 August 2009 18:57

You pain sounds very sexy.

i_is_a_tr00l 0

Monday 24 August 2009 19:14

At least he didn't run over naked saying okay?

machete_fml 0

Monday 24 August 2009 19:38

not an FML!

giganticbrain 0

Monday 24 August 2009 19:42

You deserve it for using the term "gashing".

fmlyoumeanie 0

Monday 24 August 2009 20:40

Who the **** yells, "OH **** ME!"

DameGreyWulf 0

Monday 24 August 2009 21:08

Lots of people, actually. I would rather say "OH ****" myself. One less syllable, quite a deal less implication.

13Lina97 0

Friday 22 April 2011 3:49

your mother says that.

brrrx 0

Monday 24 August 2009 21:28

YDI for feeling the need to bleep the word "****" on a website called "**** my life." Lame.

sadistmonkey 19

Monday 24 August 2009 21:46

I may be splitting hairs here but technically, the website is not called "**** my life", it's called fml or fmylife so it's already censored on the site name itself.