By Palindromesque - 04/09/2013 09:07 - United States - Seattle
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Palindromesque tells us more.
Hi all, OP here! I'm crying with laughter-you all are hilarious, seriously! To respond to some questions-I discovered my roommate's predilection for silverware and kitchen implements when I poked my head into her room to tell her something and saw an open drawer with a good collection of my utensils. She was actually quite forthcoming, and explained in jaw-dropping detail some uses for a number of them. We've agreed that she can go ahead and keep what she's "used," and that she'll replace the implements now and in future...no cross contamination, she promises. Overall, I'm glad she's sensually creative, so I don't feel the need to resort to hot sauce or splinters! I just fear for the next time she's browsing in the kitchen-I may not be able to scramble eggs for breakfast.
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just dip it in some hot sauce and wait for the fun to start. next time she'll be a lot more careful, so punish her again
emirie
21
Brilliant idea!
"Hey roomie, when your done, can you pass me the egg beater?"
crotch juice is all over em id let her to keep em. Or u could jst buy her a vibrator
Okay, so she makes the kitchen stuff nasty. The upside is that you have a woman in the house who is very comfortable with her sexuality and enjoys orgasms. Buy some cheap utensil replacements and then enjoy.
dmbfan31
7
Oh, blerch!
JoseIsAdork
31
tell her to quite forking herself with your stuff... that's gross as hell!
JoseIsAdork
31
haha, I noticed right as I posted my first comment to this it jumped to 69 for the comment count, hmm I found that strangely amusing...
tpm45
25
Buy a bunch of cheese graters and oyster shucking knives. Make a point of leaving them all over the place, OP.
FYL I'd be telling her she can keep them, because I wouldn't use them again even if I disinfected them. Make her buy more to replace the ones she stole.
TheyCallMeDamien
17
Get a new roommate or buy your own utensils and keep them locked up.
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Actually, I would just throw them away. You wouldn't see me using them in the kitchen after she's been at them.
How does she use the can opener or bottle opener or the egg beater? Actually, I don't really want to know.