Animals: Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling... - FML

By nullpointer - 03/08/2016 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 809

You deserved it 1 991

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Same thing different taste

Threat Neutralized

By Anonymous - 23/07/2018 18:36 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 316

You deserved it 731

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 575

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 592

You deserved it 4 011

By Swabidizop - 18/05/2015 20:40 - United States - Greeley

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 054

You deserved it 8 054

By pretty princess - 01/02/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 820

You deserved it 4 958

Jackson Galaxy moment

By Foreigner Fail - 25/09/2022 13:30

Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 371

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 722

By orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 665

You deserved it 9 612

Don't touch me, bitch

By Grace - 14/11/2020 23:02

Today, I found out that when you try to pick up my cat, its response is to let out the most stinky fart it can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 222

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 318

You deserved it 5 073

Next

Top comments

tygerarmy 35

Wednesday 3 August 2016 15:56

Did your cat think you were growling, or did your fart destroy his little cat nose, and he bit you in retaliation?

Steve95401 49

Wednesday 3 August 2016 16:40

The cat might rip his schlong to shreds in retaliation.

Comments

dcats 13

Thursday 4 August 2016 0:45

Lol, thanks for the laugh!

manuwish 9

Thursday 4 August 2016 11:30

thank you OP, you made me laugh! I love cats, and it probably was all of it together, the growling sound and the stench, cats have a sense of smell that is thousands of times more accurate than the human one, typical cat love, sharing the pain hahahahaaaa, cats are great

jvanevery 19

Thursday 4 August 2016 15:15

did he break the skin is it a puncture wound if he gave you a puncture wound then you need to see a doctor immediately cat bites are really dangerous

takeittoem 8

Thursday 4 August 2016 19:45

It must be incredible, being able to read the thoughts of your pets like that....

Bearsmomma 30

Friday 5 August 2016 10:01

It really isn't difficult at all. I've had full conversations with all of my dogs.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 84 932

You deserved it 6 772

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I agree, your life sucks 32 074

You deserved it 3 431

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 5 552

You deserved it 2 029

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I agree, your life sucks 44 049

You deserved it 10 451

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I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 273

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I agree, your life sucks 17 350

You deserved it 38 262

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I agree, your life sucks 47 704

You deserved it 4 513

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I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 164