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By ricard0 - 27/02/2014 20:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 068

You deserved it 6 145

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 588

You deserved it 7 519

By Addicted2FML303 - 06/12/2010 22:50 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 774

You deserved it 5 268

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 091

You deserved it 84 201

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 366

You deserved it 3 264

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 395

You deserved it 3 954

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 166

You deserved it 9 129

By ColdHeat - 16/04/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 309

You deserved it 4 637

Good boy

By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 571

You deserved it 25 180

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 628

You deserved it 4 104

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 813

You deserved it 28 498

Next

Top comments

tjanes 16

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:27

Moving kinda fast, don't you think?

SonOfAMitch 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:26

What did it taste like? Hopefully something okay, as you don't want you to remember your first kiss as 'dog butt and dirt'.

Comments

Rianokami 22

Friday 28 February 2014 4:55

Ew. Doesn't count!

JMichael 25

Friday 28 February 2014 5:01

You were supposed to sniff his/her butt first.

molliciousj 19

Friday 28 February 2014 5:07

That's okay OP, my first kiss was really slobbery too....eh....

mad_hatter0666 22

Friday 28 February 2014 5:33

Pretty sure that didn't count.

psycheiris13 20

Friday 28 February 2014 5:44

I know how you feel, I can't say I particularly like it when my dog licks my face. But dogs are man's best friend after all :) Don't worry, I'm sure your real first kiss will be great.

highjesus 6

Friday 28 February 2014 6:46

how can it put its tongue in your mouth without you waking up ?? FYL

enlargedcoccyx 1

Friday 28 February 2014 10:20

No you're doing it all wrong!!!

sugar94_fml 17

Friday 28 February 2014 11:41

Well. At least you know your next one is going to be an improvement

jh921971 10

Friday 28 February 2014 13:18

Sounds like you're still young. Give it time and the real one WILL happen.

shine999 12

Friday 28 February 2014 15:18

So did that turned you on??

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