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By ricard0 - 27/02/2014 20:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 069

You deserved it 6 145

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 589

You deserved it 7 520

By Addicted2FML303 - 06/12/2010 22:50 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 774

You deserved it 5 268

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 091

You deserved it 84 202

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 367

You deserved it 3 264

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 398

You deserved it 3 954

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 166

You deserved it 9 129

By ColdHeat - 16/04/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 309

You deserved it 4 637

Good boy

By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 572

You deserved it 25 180

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 629

You deserved it 4 104

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 813

You deserved it 28 499

Next

Top comments

tjanes 16

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:27

Moving kinda fast, don't you think?

SonOfAMitch 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:26

What did it taste like? Hopefully something okay, as you don't want you to remember your first kiss as 'dog butt and dirt'.

Comments

weveallbeenthere 30

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:34

awww, I hope you enjoyed it. good luck in the future.

Nilorak 24

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:39

Don't you mean "good lick"?

Nilorak 24

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:35

Aww, someone's got a crush on you.

ThomasBombadil 31

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:36

That's a real bitch OP.

b00kn3rd 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:38

Nope. To make your life more scarred I'd have to guess your first kiss was with a parental figure. More than likely your mom.

laden_swallow09 34

Friday 28 February 2014 14:00

Why would that scar him? Or anybody, for that matter!

b00kn3rd 14

Friday 28 February 2014 17:50

Well, actually a lot of my students whine about how "icky" it is to think of their mom kissing them. As a mom I'm biased on the other side, but I suppose my city just has a bunch of whiners then.

A_Perfect_Circle 12

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:40

I'm sure the right person will come along for you to kiss OP, maybe it will be enjoyable this time

NoMore_CoolNames 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:44

Awww, you're lucky, it happened with one of your best friends.

UhItsHavoc 6

Friday 28 February 2014 0:06

Life is a humorous little bitch 'aint it? ;)

edward80 18

Friday 28 February 2014 0:23

The burning question is : did you like it ?

worldclassrager 39

Friday 28 February 2014 0:40

Don't give up you'll get a real one

buckdharma 37

Friday 28 February 2014 0:51

Could've been worse. Could've been a French Poodle.

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