Kids: Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone...

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 20:58 - United States - Durham

Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone screen and my sunglasses. My idiot brother launched me out of it, so he could "assert his dominance." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 930

You deserved it 1 803

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The blame game

By Shattered - 23/11/2022 02:00

Today, my brother got mad at me for breaking the screen on his phone. He'd already dropped it so many times that the whole screen was cracked to the point that you couldn't see anything on it, but for some reason, I am fully responsible for its destruction because I accidentally delivered the finishing blow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 191

By imsad - 06/11/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be fun to slam a door on my hand while I was holding my brand new $200 cell phone that I got for my birthday. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a broken phone to go along with a broken hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 770

You deserved it 2 604

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 121

You deserved it 3 144

By vreenya - 08/04/2014 20:13 - Chile - Santiago

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 616

You deserved it 4 059

By girl on fire - 03/09/2015 00:32

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 419

You deserved it 2 723

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 324

You deserved it 5 601

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 099

You deserved it 5 941

By Anonymous - 18/11/2012 00:41 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 558

You deserved it 2 022

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 897

You deserved it 43 672

By Ihavealisp - 16/02/2011 02:32 - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 691

You deserved it 7 053

Wizardo 33

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:10

Clock him solidly around the head. Dominance asserted.

arano 29

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:04

Well at least he didn't pee on you.

Comments

LegitimateSalmon 12

Thursday 17 March 2016 19:43

Beat him up.

glossykarma 19

Thursday 17 March 2016 19:53

make sure to assert your dominance by decking him in the face a few times

AuroraIce 5

Thursday 17 March 2016 21:42

Headbutt him to prove your dominance.

nameisname 12

Thursday 17 March 2016 22:15

Smack him hard in the face and say how's that for dominance

brick0 11

Thursday 17 March 2016 22:34

Make him pay to replace everything he broke and if he wont then kick the everliving shit out of him.

Tyrez 32

Friday 18 March 2016 0:58

Face it, he's the alpha if he can launch you from the hammock. At least now you know not to mess with him.

Robocop82 5

Friday 18 March 2016 1:00

Is he an 11 year old Paul Rudd?

VVickedpanda 4

Friday 18 March 2016 2:00

She = Woman, He = Man. I'm shocked this little Trump supporter didn't say anything about her being fat before sending her packing past the border (property line in this case)