Kids: Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone...

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 20:58 - United States - Durham

Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone screen and my sunglasses. My idiot brother launched me out of it, so he could "assert his dominance." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 927

You deserved it 1 803

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The blame game

By Shattered - 23/11/2022 02:00

Today, my brother got mad at me for breaking the screen on his phone. He'd already dropped it so many times that the whole screen was cracked to the point that you couldn't see anything on it, but for some reason, I am fully responsible for its destruction because I accidentally delivered the finishing blow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 189

By imsad - 06/11/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be fun to slam a door on my hand while I was holding my brand new $200 cell phone that I got for my birthday. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a broken phone to go along with a broken hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 768

You deserved it 2 604

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 119

You deserved it 3 142

By vreenya - 08/04/2014 20:13 - Chile - Santiago

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 616

You deserved it 4 059

By girl on fire - 03/09/2015 00:32

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 418

You deserved it 2 723

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 324

You deserved it 5 601

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 098

You deserved it 5 941

By Anonymous - 18/11/2012 00:41 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 558

You deserved it 2 022

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 896

You deserved it 43 670

By Ihavealisp - 16/02/2011 02:32 - United States

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 688

You deserved it 7 053

Wizardo 33

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:10

Clock him solidly around the head. Dominance asserted.

arano 29

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:04

Well at least he didn't pee on you.

Comments

arano 29

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:04

Well at least he didn't pee on you.

soulreaper12296 28

Thursday 17 March 2016 14:15

That's the next step.

EJ003 6

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:07

You should inform him about contests for dominance. Then while he is sleeping or relaxing hit him enough times for the worth of the phone. He won't want to be dominant after that!

EJ003 6

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:12

Or rather you could offer him your hammock to get in. Once he gets in it do the same back to him

Sweet_Melody 15

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:08

He's young but he should of known that was a mean and stupid thing to do. I hope he got some sort of reasonable punishment for that.

Wizardo 33

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:10

Clock him solidly around the head. Dominance asserted.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:20

I've heard the best way to assert dominance is to mount someone, but I wouldn't advise doing that here.

tygerarmy 35

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:22

What's wrong with a little Jiu-jitsu? Mount, or even a good side control, tap him a few times, dominance asserted.

The_ghetto_mango 25

Thursday 17 March 2016 16:34

Martial arts work well.

Sidneyr 14

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:24

Who puts a hammock at the top of a hill?

The_Potato_Lord 15

Thursday 17 March 2016 13:14

Someone who lives on top of a hill.

Dave_Davington 33

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:28

There's only one reasonable and intelligent response to this. Hold him down and shit in his mouth. That'll show him who's dominant.

Plastinate 17

Thursday 17 March 2016 11:37

Make him pay in both ways.

ER1C_fml 22

Thursday 17 March 2016 12:09

Eat him.

tin_cup 27

Thursday 17 March 2016 15:50

He's a guy!

The_ghetto_mango 25

Thursday 17 March 2016 16:45

#11- You know, it's always that one person who suggests cannabalism for these types of things. Are we freaking tiger sharks or chimpazees that fight for dominance in the womb or kill our rivals and may actually eat them? While cannibalism would solve hunger and over-population problems, we are, as a general society, disgusted by it. We are human beings, for God's sake. We are capable of solving problems without going to the extreme and eating each other. So don't go over the line and freaking say a person has to eat their 11-year-old younger brother for dominance.