Health, Poopoo peepee and Roommate: Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating...

By anonymous - 06/11/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 656

You deserved it 45 708

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 943

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 4 032

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 426

Mess incoming

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 16:00

Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 169

Get rid of the evidence!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 154

By someone - 01/04/2014 19:21 - United States - Point Pleasant

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 569

You deserved it 12 678

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 22:03 - Iceland - Akranes

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 263

You deserved it 27 806

The runs

By stitchwitch - 18/05/2023 00:06

Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 80

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 17 497

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 790

You deserved it 35 331

Tubasaurus 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 8:27

I just got this cool think installed at my house. It's probably the best invention ever. It's called a faucet.

Tequilamockngbrd 7

Saturday 7 November 2009 17:38

Well, OP said that she put the laxatives into her own water (that the other roommates happened to be taking), so I don't think that would qualify as poisoning. If someone tried to take her to court, she could just say that the water was hers and she could do whatever she wanted with it.

Comments

Ninjaface 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:47

Wow, a lot of people these days seem to be really forgetful. It must be something in the water.

pms247 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 11:33

YDI cuz FYI, water is free... if it's a Brita, it takes 30sec to fill it back up... you're extremely petty and cheap to not want to share something that's FREE and replaceable

UsernameHere_ 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 5:52

YDI for A) Being a dumbass and drinking the stuff and B) Contaminating your own water so that you couldn't drink it to solve the problem of not having any water to drink...

Cassiebangz 0

Monday 2 August 2010 5:30

ydi- I'm srry but u do.

tencalories 3

Tuesday 10 May 2011 15:13

idiot

Amfutbol 0

Friday 8 July 2011 22:14

YDI for being that much of a dumbass

Muser97 1

Wednesday 7 December 2011 16:21

Lol too FMLs about laxatives!!!!

Bquillero16 18

Wednesday 19 December 2012 7:45

So are you a smart person that made a stupid mistake or a stupid person that came up with a good idea?

xrudeboyrock 29

Thursday 7 May 2015 13:52

This doesn't make sense to me. By your water disappearing, I have to assume you mean like a case of Poland Spring bottles. And you can't spike those, who would steal an already-opened water bottle? So then we must assume that it's a pitcher or filter, in which case... take four steps to the sink, dude.