Health: Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't...

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 528

You deserved it 4 032

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By shatMyself - 22/04/2013 19:10 - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 477

You deserved it 3 422

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 426

By avoid the sour cream - 30/12/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 695

You deserved it 2 839

Mess incoming

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 16:00

Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 169

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 560

You deserved it 5 933

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 001

You deserved it 2 891

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 073

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By pleasestop - 11/06/2011 08:48 - Australia

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 3 420

Selphis 20

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:11

Just go... they'll stop listening soon enough ;-)

greenfishbait 19

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:13

You have to do what you have to do!

Comments

Selphis 20

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:11

Just go... they'll stop listening soon enough ;-)

goldfishgod 20

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:31

Yeah. **** it, go. This is literally the worst situation I could ever think of. Don't deny yourself the pleasure of a good poop just because people are listening.

Leprekhaun 14

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:37

It could be worse... Like in a public restroom with a lot of traffic..

goldfishgod 20

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:40

The good thing about a public restroom, though, is that you don't personally know the other occupants and they will leave soon.

ShyAnn29 14

Wednesday 17 April 2013 23:22

At least you aren't sitting in your car, stuck in traffic!

MWidderAUDI 14

Thursday 18 April 2013 5:23

#14- I don't think it's going to be a good poop after taking laxatives...

greenfishbait 19

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:13

You have to do what you have to do!

MyNameIsViet 15

Wednesday 17 April 2013 16:00

Yea you can't just shit there for ages.

Leprekhaun 14

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:14

Let it loose and get some air freshener.

Metallica36176 16

Wednesday 17 April 2013 21:13

And get a radio. That's why we have a radio in our bathroom. It drowns out the sound.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:16

Don't care about the guests, and if they really don't like the sounds coming from the bathroom they might leave earlier.

CrysisAverted 5

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:16

You can always try making very loud fart noises to try to mask out the real ones op, then your roomates will think you were just ******* around?

error404n0tf0und 21

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:17

when they ask just say you where reanacting some sex you had, that will shit them up

zingline89 18

Wednesday 17 April 2013 10:14

If having sex with your significant other sounds like explosive diarrhea, you're doing it wrong.

MissMollie_85 12

Wednesday 17 April 2013 14:52

unless you're a necrophiliac ;P

zingline89 18

Wednesday 17 April 2013 15:12

No they just bang dead people

MissMollie_85 12

Thursday 18 April 2013 17:22

I was talking about the sounds... anyway, obviously that joke was shit and went over a lot of heads, so I will let myself drown under the sea of downward pointing thumbs.