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By meh. - 07/04/2011 10:19 - Switzerland

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 032
You deserved it 4 277

meh_dot tells us more.

meh_dot 0

Since I am now bored, drunk and everybody has loooong ceased to care, I'm going to actually respond to make myself feel a little bit better and no one else. @#105: Hell no! That I don't wish on anybody in the world (for the poor old lady on wikipedia it's too late of course). It's only acrokeratosis, but still... @all the religious numbskulls who were offended by that one word an anonymous guy posted somewhere on the internet and their opponents who thought that was a nice point to start another massive debate, which doesn't really come as a surprise, but come on! story goes like this: my hyper-esoteric mom found that with all the science and doctors and stuff, her side was kinda underrepresented. So she NAGGED me into seeing some healer dude who basically wished the lesions away, intensely so. Yeah right. Might as well have drawn pentagrams or sacrificed goats or prayed to a wizard in the sky for all the good that did. For me: same thing really. Not a bad thing that is, but it only works if you genuinely believe in it. Like that placebo effect thingie. I chose the witchcraft for convenience mainly and because it contrasted the other useless measures nicely. @the [do not want]-lick comments: haha. If it's funny the first time, it must be so next time too, right? Point is, if I had put my tounge in an inapropriate place, I would have posted so, with much pride. And everybody could have hit that 'deserved it' button to no end. That's why I specifically wrote unknown reasons. And why would I lick toads? They'd be effing hard to find in this climate but the weed and funny mushrooms grow well and everybody's quite laid-back about it. So there. @#102: Yes! Love it! And it's so accurate. See kids, this is how mutations work on humans in real life. And then you surf the web and mess up natural selection with online dating (not that I did). Hur hur hur. @everybodies genuinely empathic statements & ironic comments. Thx a lot! Heartwarming; made my day.

Top comments

hmna 0

Dude. Dental dams. Or condoms, depending on the team you play for.

Licking for love in all the wrong places...

Comments

emariebake 0

lol. witchcraft isn't a cult. supreme court recognizes various forms as religions. anyway, I think OP was making a joke.

cptmorgan15 2

You're never getting laid. No one likes tongue warts.

Mimiroxxi 0

lmao did you really think witchcraft would help you?

And is it that much different to the people who pray to their god or goddess or whatever they worship for cures from their illnesses, wounds or diseases?

RedPillSucks 31

Wow, we get it, mskaybee, you're not a fan of religion. No need to negatively respond to every comment. No one is arguing with you about it.

And you demonstrated your point with your double posting, Haha good one, I liked it! Actually I am quite appreciative of many aspects of religion. I'm somewhat envious of people who have a belief, because they have the comfort and peace of believing unconditionally that there is a better place for them to go to when they die. I worked on the presumption that many people don't read through comment by comment like I do. Which is why I responses individually to a few comments, like I have seen many people do before me.

SirEBC 7

I put an end to the crap you started up above, and you go and say some other ridiculous nonsensical bull shit here? Dude, chick, whatever you identify yourself as, if you want to have a religious debate/conversation, PM the person. The comments section is for commenting on the FML, not having pointless conversations.

im with #66 here I am reading comment to comment and I'm confronted with the same religious debate! btw op, apparently you piss on warts! it may just be and old wives tale, but... you've tried everything else lol

Autoshot 9

mskaybee, it's just brutal listening to you. Please stop posting.

rallets 22

FML has audio now? :P lol but yea, she is just on every religious post

Wouldn't that mean OP would have to drink the piss? I'm not sure which would be worse-having warts on your tongue, or having to drink piss to get rid of them.

rallets 22

i dont think he would have to drink it then, maybe just gargle it? i burst out laughing at the thought of someone gargling piss like mouthwash lol and afterwards they spit it out and say "ahh, refreshing" lmfao

MrsxBillxKaulitz 5
Mimiroxxi 0

uhhhh....technically it is 43. anyways sorry if I offend anyone with my comment, i was not trying to be rude didn't even think people would reply more likely ignore. :/ I just don't see how witchcraft can work.

monnanon 13

If OP means witchcraft like making all natural remedies then they could help. Many herbs and plants used in herbal medicine are the unrefined versions of many common medicines. Theres a lot to be said for positive thinking to, if a spell or praying makes you think you will get better chances are your odds improve. Something tells me OP did not mean this but instead said witchcraft to show how desperatly he had been trying to cure the warts.

mousekiller 0

better talk to mom sounds like she had hpv when you were born

lmaoatall 6

thank god it's not genital warts on the tongue. or are they??? hhhmmm

lol And Christianity (or any other religion) isn't a cult? The Random House Unabridged Dictionary's eight definitions of "cult" are: 1. A particular system of religious worship, esp. with reference to its rites and ceremonies; 2. An instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, esp. as manifested by a body of admirers; 3. The object of such devotion; 4. A group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc; 5. Group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols; 6. A religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader; 7. The members of such a religion or sect; 8. Any system for treating human sickness that originated by a person usually claiming to have sole insight into the nature of disease, and that employs methods regarded as unorthodox or unscientific. Depending on individual perspective: many if not all of the above definitions apply to every single religion/belief in this world. No I don't practice witchcraft. I'm an atheist, but I'd take a bet that my principles and morals would make me more "Christian" than many who actually call themselves one.

Easyaccess 0

don't put your tongue into NASTY poonanny and you will cease to have said problem!

Acousticpixie14 6

I think he means witch hazel... And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure warts are a fungus, not a virus. OP, you're a dumbass...

SirEBC 7

Warts are caused by a virus.