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By meh. - 07/04/2011 10:19 - Switzerland

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 032
You deserved it 4 277

meh_dot tells us more.

meh_dot 0

Since I am now bored, drunk and everybody has loooong ceased to care, I'm going to actually respond to make myself feel a little bit better and no one else. @#105: Hell no! That I don't wish on anybody in the world (for the poor old lady on wikipedia it's too late of course). It's only acrokeratosis, but still... @all the religious numbskulls who were offended by that one word an anonymous guy posted somewhere on the internet and their opponents who thought that was a nice point to start another massive debate, which doesn't really come as a surprise, but come on! story goes like this: my hyper-esoteric mom found that with all the science and doctors and stuff, her side was kinda underrepresented. So she NAGGED me into seeing some healer dude who basically wished the lesions away, intensely so. Yeah right. Might as well have drawn pentagrams or sacrificed goats or prayed to a wizard in the sky for all the good that did. For me: same thing really. Not a bad thing that is, but it only works if you genuinely believe in it. Like that placebo effect thingie. I chose the witchcraft for convenience mainly and because it contrasted the other useless measures nicely. @the [do not want]-lick comments: haha. If it's funny the first time, it must be so next time too, right? Point is, if I had put my tounge in an inapropriate place, I would have posted so, with much pride. And everybody could have hit that 'deserved it' button to no end. That's why I specifically wrote unknown reasons. And why would I lick toads? They'd be effing hard to find in this climate but the weed and funny mushrooms grow well and everybody's quite laid-back about it. So there. @#102: Yes! Love it! And it's so accurate. See kids, this is how mutations work on humans in real life. And then you surf the web and mess up natural selection with online dating (not that I did). Hur hur hur. @everybodies genuinely empathic statements & ironic comments. Thx a lot! Heartwarming; made my day.

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Top comments

hmna 0

Dude. Dental dams. Or condoms, depending on the team you play for.

34 0
CallMeHush 0

Licking for love in all the wrong places...

34 2

Comments

rosey_5_3 2

why would the devil cure something he caused?? an if u tried witchcraft try finding Jesus :) it's worth a shot. he cured me from a kidney problem I had I was going for surgery and then the day of the surgery the doctors where all confused because everything was gone and working perfectly. he is the eternal water of life :) drink some to be cured and saved <3

2 15
sublime420 11

Thats sarcasm, right?

3 1
DocBastard 38

I'm afraid not. My sarcasm detector is at a flat "0" right now. Le sigh.

6 1
darkmis1 17

Yeah, I'm sure "God" cured you, and not all the meds the doctors put you on.

4 1
monnanon 13

Despite my anger at you lumping satan and witchcraft in the same catagory (we are not evil..end of) i think maybe praying did help but only from a positive thinking point of view. Postive thinking can help you but theres no way it will cure you fully. You need medicine or surgery for most things.

3 1
Grimmerie 31

82 is a drooling douchenozzle. "my imaginary friend in the sky is inviting me to narnia but you can't come cause you're not his friend."

1 0
spadesghost 1

you can change your DNA. talk to monsanto, then charlie sheen, who has adonis DNA.

0 0
wearinsexypants 0

Did you rub a pea on it and then bury it? That's what my "witch" friend in 8th grade told me to do for the little warts on my fingers. I can't tell you if it worked though because I never tried it... Not necessarily out of an aversion to witchcraft but because I never had a pea. It drives me crazy that people try freezing and lasers and acid and all sorts of painful shit before they try the easiest, scientifically proven method, which is duct tape. Honestly, even if you think its stupid, what do you lose by taping up your warts for a month or so before going drastic? My aunt fist told me about it, but when I showed up for my physical with duct tape on my fingers my doctor asked if it was for warts and told me to keep doing it. Back in college my friend's roommate kept complaining about a wart on her foot. I told her to try duct tape but she was being stubborn and wouldn't do it. Also her dad had already told her to get it frozen off and she had to do everything he said. So she goes to health services to get the wart removed, and then she's limping around for 2 weeks and has an absolute meltdown when her dad takes away her ice skates until her foot heals. I'm not saying Duct tape is 100% sure, nothing is really, but she had a chance to avoid all that. Still trying to convince my boyfriend to try it on his hands... If he ever starts talking about lasers or acid or freezing I will make him try duct tape first but since right now he seems content to leave them be I will not push the issue.

2 0
sublime420 11

Ive heard cranberries work on corns

0 0
guestxxx 0

I was told to cut a potato in half and bury one half an then take the other have an rub it on the wart. By the time the buried half sprouts or whatever, the wart is supposed to be gone. I tried it minus the burying one half an it worked in about 6 months after I had the warts for like, 10 years.

0 0
monnanon 13

Stories like that stick around for a reason, there must be some truth in the old remedies. If you look at what aspirin and some other meds are made of they are not too far away from some natural remedies.

0 0
Levvy 22

Stories stick around because there's truth to them? The very existence of urban legends and proven-false old wives' tales takes issue with your claim.

0 0
monnanon 13

I wasn't speaking about urban legends Im talking about old cures. Heres some examples, mint is proven to settle your stomach and help digestion and has been recommended for years. Aspirin is made from a type of tree bark, the same bark would probably have been chewed in t'olden days. Don't be so quick to dismiss the old cures, i'm not saying you should drill a hole in your head instead of taking headache pills but some things like aechinacea and mint do work. Many new medicines have their roots in the old herb and plant lore.

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FMLsOhilarious 6

Where have you been licking? Ew! FYI.

0 0
ravenxcorvinus 9

O.O *blinks twice then shudders* ewwww.. sorry OP, but that really sucks!

0 0