Miscellaneous: Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was...

By Hammy - 25/11/2014 02:17 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 738

You deserved it 3 841

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Same thing different taste

By Takegami - 22/11/2018 23:00 - United States - Norge

Today, I realized how alone I truly was when I caught myself talking to a podcast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 425

You deserved it 328

By funy_hunie - 02/08/2019 06:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 246

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 6 245

Good boy

By fall3nrain - 11/09/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 806

You deserved it 7 174

By lonely. - 15/08/2012 16:46 - United States - Buffalo

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 066

You deserved it 8 946

By bottombarrel - 28/10/2014 14:07 - United States - Greenville

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 029

You deserved it 4 346

By anonymous - 20/03/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 252

You deserved it 4 735

Poor choices were made

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 22:00

Today, I'm so lonely that I actually convinced myself it was by choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 184

Teddy is always there for you

By Lunar-Spice - 16/12/2020 04:54 - United States - Midlothian

Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 124

Castaway

By Anonymous - 21/10/2023 16:00

Today, I felt so affection-deprived that I gave myself pep talks in order to feel less lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 144

MzZombicidal 36

Tuesday 25 November 2014 11:06

Awww, may as well take the next step and get a few cats! :P

tacopandaroo 12

Tuesday 25 November 2014 11:08

Was it soft?

Comments

kitttkattt 10

Thursday 5 November 2015 23:24

maybe get a turtle... something that can't run away fast

Rababco 29

Saturday 28 May 2016 21:25

Sounds like you need a pet, OP. Then you wouldn't have to pet the couch. Pets make much better companions then couches.

LenUrban 14

Saturday 23 July 2016 3:32

I was petting my pillow while reading this

mint mochi 11

Friday 20 July 2018 1:51

Awww, you should get some cats or dogs! 😃

Keywords

Christmas Love Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family

The Top

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 424

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 1 511

The Top

Today, I felt cold while driving, so I blasted the heat. The one thing I didn't expect was a load of tiny spiders spilling out of the vents and writhing all over my dash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 125

You deserved it 965

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 573

You deserved it 2 779

Today, I was told that my laugh sounds like Krusty the Clown. It really does. Now I can't unhear it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 151

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 271

You deserved it 11 517

Today, I got a new title at work. My boss hyped it up and made it sound amazing, so I accepted. Come to find out it pays 20k less a year and is twice as much work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 565

You deserved it 1 739

Today, I went to my (now ex) boyfriend’s step-uncle’s wedding. He got absolutely wasted and kept talking about marrying me in front of his mom and step-dad, but was listing off who he would and wouldn’t invite, all in front of the people he wouldn’t invite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 101