I agree with #19. I understand not wanting to marry a **** who uses men and trashes them and has several diseases. However, an innocent victim of childhood sexual abuse is so incredibly far from that. I think this guy has more than a few screws lose. OP is better off.

He could be one of those should be a virgin because god said so people...........so i guess that would make intoxicunt right.

#19 If it's her personal business she wouldn't have put it on FML. Sorry Jackie if I offend you, I'm sorry for what happened to you.

I agree with #19 and #21, but I also want to say something negative just so #14 doesn't feel left out... I despise seafood.

I think what you are saying is that she should have told him sooner so that he would break it off sooner and she'd suffer less heartbreak? It'd still be the same amount, pretty much, because it's still some ass judging her for being "impure" when she was raped.

I despite sea food, jackasses, and sick ***** who abuse children/teens (didn't know how old you were when abused.) I have to say this. Posting something online is a lot different than telling it to the person you love. We don't know who Jackie really is. She could be any age. She could have lied about her state...ect. Also, perhaps through her fiance she was able to overcome the abuse and be able to openly talk about it now. It is possible, it is called healing. Just because she SHOULD have told him does not mean she was ready to. Perhaps she was waiting to see if the guy would stick around. IF they were engaged it would infer that he loved her enough to marry all the bad parts. That is the time to share things, really personal things, because you want to work on the marriage. Do you tell every shitty thing that happened to you when you were young? All the personal crap? No, not to someone you have been dating and don't really trust. OP I am so sorry he betrayed you like that, but good for you being strong enough to try and overcome your fears and pain. I shall hope/pray/think of you.

#14 your comment sucks! How do you picture her telling him before they got engaged? Since usually the men are the ones who pop the question, she could not know if or when he would propose to her! Do you picture the situation this way? He kneels in front of her, a ring in his hand, asking "Will you marry me?", and she says "Wait. There's something I have to tell you first: When I was a child, I was sexually abused."??? You obviously don't know anything about what being sexually abused means to a woman, especially in childhood. That's something you don't talk about too soon, especially to people you're sleeping with or looking forward to sleep with, because you sense that this will make you way less attractive to that person.

holy geez people back off #14. Ok so you might disagree with their opinion, but they were very polite and sensitive about it - it's not like they were saying "you deserve it". Geeeez.

Um. What? That's ridiculous. Christianity is NOT the only religion that have people who don't want to marry someone who isn't "pure". Judaism, strict Judaism, separates women from their husbands (as in ZERO physical touching) during the woman's period because she's "unclean". Muslim women have been stoned to death, and worse, by their OWN FAMILIES, for being raped because they're no longer "pure" and therefore cannot be married off. Please, educate yourself before you bash people.

Ovation T.Girl. I am Christian and I don't believe people who are raped should be stoned to death. Plus if you pray to god you get like a spiritual hymen to fix the problem. I am not saying OP is impure because of this and needs to ask gods forgiveness. I think--if OP's ex-fiance is religious--then God/Allah/Internet will strike him dead. Bastards.

Are you completely uneducated? I'm a Christian, have grown up in the Christian church and I don't know ANYBODY who would refuse to marry a non-virgin, let alone a poor girl who has had abuse FORCED onto her!! THat's just terrible. I know a girl who was raped and I hope she finds a wonderful man who looks after her right. (Not like many of her previous bfs...)

Apparently the fiance never read the parts of the Bible where God condones (practically recommending!) rape, like Numbers 31:15-18. The "humane" solution in Deuteronomy 22:28-29 has the attacker pay a fine for spoiling property and marrying his victim because she's damaged goods. You know, since women have no worth in Abrahamic religion. I'm glad I'm not dumb enough to make up something as absurd as a spiritual hymen.

I think if it is the right guy and you have been together for a while, then you will want to tell him to be honest with yourself and show you got past it/are stronger than it/want to heal. I think its brave of OP and you to talk about it with people. If you keep it inside, I believe, it will only fester.