Transportation: Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits....

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 15:00 - United States

Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 619

You deserved it 3 650

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 13:54 - Greece - Athens

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 5 724

By Anonymous - 09/07/2014 20:49 - United States

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 847

You deserved it 17 234

By Anonymous - 22/01/2017 18:00

Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 402

You deserved it 550

Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge, I'm trying not to lose my head

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, and since I found out that I'm pregnant, I've been sober. I used to smoke weed to help with me depression and anxiety, but now I can't even take prescription medicine for it. I'm about to throw hands at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 386

The urge

By Anonymous - 13/07/2020 05:02

Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 988

You deserved it 46 115

By Thepunchline - 11/08/2010 09:19 - United Kingdom

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 235

You deserved it 4 235

By zaneey - 17/01/2009 18:41 - Australia

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 673

You deserved it 42 752

By danman - 14/04/2013 22:20 - United States

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 678

You deserved it 4 243

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 1 050

OptimusSlime 23

Monday 14 March 2016 0:40

Maybe it's best to avoid guns, weapons, and such for now...

tin_cup 27

Monday 14 March 2016 0:40

Take a deep breath. Things will get better.

Comments

tin_cup 27

Monday 14 March 2016 0:40

Take a deep breath. Things will get better.

OptimusSlime 23

Monday 14 March 2016 0:40

Maybe it's best to avoid guns, weapons, and such for now...

ptoka 20

Monday 14 March 2016 1:30

And traffic, avoid traffic... You know what, just stay inside and enjoy a nice root beer and some candy cigarettes until the tension goes down.

capnjacksparrow 7

Monday 14 March 2016 11:08

Maybe just a room. Padded walls. Absolutely no visual stimuli. Or really anything else.

Zarcissa 34

Monday 14 March 2016 0:41

Best of luck to you OP and stay strong, you're doing a good thing.

YumeWolf 23

Monday 14 March 2016 0:43

You've got this OP! It'll get better. Great job for having the guts to quit, you won't regret it in the long run.

emeraldisle 30

Monday 14 March 2016 0:43

Good luck OP! You can do it!

MisterEx 28

Monday 14 March 2016 0:43

Maybe cold turkey your drinking habit first, then your smoking habit, or vice versa? This way you can either shoot people or run them down. Not both.

chosha_fml 26

Monday 14 March 2016 1:03

For a lot of people the two go together and it's harder to resist one when you're doing the other.

tantanpanda 26

Monday 14 March 2016 4:06

I think the latter is perfectly fine to feel in the FML. There are times when I want to snipe somebody's tires because they're doing something extremely stupid or really pissing me off.

trucker2 33

Monday 14 March 2016 0:46

Does that cover the smoking part, or the drinking habit.....

Tatush_ 13

Monday 14 March 2016 0:55

Hang in there OP

AviKerensky 17

Monday 14 March 2016 0:57

Keep your head up. Cold turkey isn't easy, but prove to yourself that you have the willpower. You got this, OP!

Waxwell 21

Monday 14 March 2016 1:01

I've heard s few tips on making things easier. Go to the sauna (sweat out the nicotine and other things, bring water!), eat more fruits and vegetables, take some vitamins, and, most importantly, stay away from them. They say that after three days it gets a lot easier. Hang in there, OP.