Miscellaneous: Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years.... - FML

By kayak probs - 30/07/2013 14:13 - United States - Newtown

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 398

You deserved it 25 956

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Same thing different taste

Need beer now

By Jensen - 16/07/2021 07:01 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 431

Pirate move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 718

You deserved it 26 835

By Rakoric - 16/04/2017 22:00

Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 844

You deserved it 420

By Anonymous - 10/06/2019 20:00

Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 879

Nature is healing

By KeysToHappiness - 16/08/2015 12:39 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 464

You deserved it 8 679

By Tori Pearson - 27/06/2011 04:21 - Canada

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 6 894

Anger management

By truecountrybitch - 09/05/2020 23:00

Today, my boyfriend got frustrated trying to take my entertainment center into the basement, for the kids' game room. It didn't fit, thanks to the horrible design of the house, so he Spartan-kicked it down, breaking it into 15 pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 18:14 - United States

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 789

You deserved it 53 104

FINNBY boss

By danny - 03/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 432

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 18:07 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 685

You deserved it 3 878

Next

Top comments

UnoriGal 17

Tuesday 30 July 2013 18:43

Anyone else thinking of NCIS while reading this? OP should try and disassemble the kayak into parts that can make it out the door then reassemble it, no? (I have no idea whether that would actually work with kayaks though...) Either way, good luck, OP!

BntyHntrSeattle 30

Tuesday 30 July 2013 18:40

Well... better start over outside!

Comments

Raptorix2012 17

Tuesday 30 July 2013 21:35

reminds me of the story of where a guy built a Lamborghini in his basement. He had to hire a backloader to dig a tunnel to drive it out.

blowtrees420 6

Tuesday 30 July 2013 22:17

sounds like a half baked idea if you started it in your basement

summerlong 13

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:16

Just do what Gibbs would do

ni0ve 9

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:31

should of thought of that first. ydi

dotar_fml 23

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:32

It's like a ship in a bottle! :D

jun00 15

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:39

Hang it for display?...

thebomb553 5

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:59

You had four years to think of that possible problem, how did that never cross your mind?

ThatsJustCray 5

Wednesday 31 July 2013 0:23

damn it gibbs!

djinnyf 12

Wednesday 31 July 2013 1:20

I'm sure OP will find a way!! It was just a good fml, when he realized this!!!

Audem_fml 27

Wednesday 31 July 2013 1:27

What´s up Jethro G. ?

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 076

You deserved it 410

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

The Top

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 379

You deserved it 10 725

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 645

You deserved it 321

Today, as a single and ready to mingle mother, I was glad to be on a second date. All was going well, we started making out when he pulled away and said, "It's crazy that Casey Anthony got away with what she did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 116

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 097

You deserved it 4 511

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year-old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother, who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year-old girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 082

You deserved it 3 070

Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 333

You deserved it 3 056