Miscellaneous: Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years.... - FML

By kayak probs - 30/07/2013 14:13 - United States - Newtown

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 398

You deserved it 25 956

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Need beer now

By Jensen - 16/07/2021 07:01 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 431

Pirate move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 718

You deserved it 26 835

By Rakoric - 16/04/2017 22:00

Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 844

You deserved it 420

By Anonymous - 10/06/2019 20:00

Today, after I finally got the money for a pool, I built a deck, filled it a quarter of the way, then all the 4x4 beams collapsed. The pool ripped in half, flooding the yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 879

Nature is healing

By KeysToHappiness - 16/08/2015 12:39 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 464

You deserved it 8 679

By Tori Pearson - 27/06/2011 04:21 - Canada

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 6 894

Anger management

By truecountrybitch - 09/05/2020 23:00

Today, my boyfriend got frustrated trying to take my entertainment center into the basement, for the kids' game room. It didn't fit, thanks to the horrible design of the house, so he Spartan-kicked it down, breaking it into 15 pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 18:14 - United States

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 789

You deserved it 53 104

FINNBY boss

By danny - 03/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 432

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 18:07 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 685

You deserved it 3 878

Next

Top comments

UnoriGal 17

Tuesday 30 July 2013 18:43

Anyone else thinking of NCIS while reading this? OP should try and disassemble the kayak into parts that can make it out the door then reassemble it, no? (I have no idea whether that would actually work with kayaks though...) Either way, good luck, OP!

BntyHntrSeattle 30

Tuesday 30 July 2013 18:40

Well... better start over outside!

Comments

cynical78 15

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:27

Is your name Gibbs by chancy?

nina21194 12

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:28

Gibbs.

BrianaKoala 7

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:33

What are you gonna do now? Break it apart? Crap. :(

JetteLette 9

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:35

Alright, Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Good luck

termin8tor786 10

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:35

Dumbass!!

Saikon1357 25

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:38

Way to go Gibbs.

TheModernPatriot 14

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:51

There's always a way, perhaps what you have to do BREAK EVERYTHING IN THE WAY!

jrock9093 18

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:51

Sounds a little like Gibbs on NCIS lol

bdathorne 6

Tuesday 30 July 2013 20:58

You really should've thought that one through a little better.

booboohoney 12

Tuesday 30 July 2013 21:18

Mount that shit on the wall

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable Work You're fired Cars Health Covid Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 83

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 089

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I was on my motorbike, riding through town, when a bird collided with my crash helmet. I lost my balance, and fell. As a result: a leg, a rib and a wrist of mine were broken. The EMT guy helpfully reassured me that the pigeon was A-OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 498

You deserved it 579

Today, I was on the train next to an elderly woman. When I told her it was my stop, she turned her knees towards the aisle, and I, thinking that she was letting me go by, began to edge past. She screamed, "DON'T PUSH ME!" and the whole train turned to look. I was thus the asshole pushing the old lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 121

You deserved it 1 688

Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 520

You deserved it 4 627

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 276

You deserved it 2 003

Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 925

You deserved it 3 954

Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 143