Health: Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all... - FML

By Username - 03/03/2010 16:34 - France

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 25 207

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Same thing different taste

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 15:00

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 122

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 790

You deserved it 35 331

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 14:50 - Canada

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 735

You deserved it 1 711

Fire in the hole!

By CarrieBerrie - 14/08/2020 17:01

Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 520

By Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 633

You deserved it 3 579

The Gush

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 22:01

Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 2 055

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 110

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

By jack - 27/08/2015 10:56 - United Kingdom - London

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 426

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 916

You deserved it 373

Next

Top comments

Person1233 12

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:05

What the ****?!?

Taipan_fml 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:06

I didn't know Batman used that. Huh. Learn sumthin new every day.

Comments

nikcolburn 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 8:23

Brave Sir Robin, Monty Python reference FTW

cboisen10 1

Thursday 4 March 2010 10:11

ydi for saying batman at the end of that fag

astro_plastic 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 10:20

You deserve a life of hell for not respecting The Batman. And for saying "fag".

Sekococo 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 15:27

XD thank you OP

ughpplppl 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 15:28

love the post, very funny!

trackrunner00008 0

Friday 5 March 2010 2:37

dude what the **** does your fml even mean. fyl not because of what happened but because you seem like the guy who got kicked in the nuts all the time in high school cuz you use quotes from little kid tv shows

ipts 0

Friday 5 March 2010 3:15

how stupid can u be for not knowing what stool softener is? it makes ur $h! soft and squishy. i swear theses people are... ug.

RayneWolf 10

Sunday 7 March 2010 0:19

omg that's lolz

GiddyXD 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 6:19

i dont get it

sabatical 0

Friday 12 March 2010 8:12

as the old batman series has the popups *kablammo*!!!

J0gby 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 3:00

maybe you should read the lable im pretty sure it would say what it does

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The Top

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Today, I found out that when I thought the bullying had finally stopped, the bullies had actually been sponsored to be nice for charity. FML

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You deserved it 2 739

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You deserved it 25 750

Today, I woke up to the sounds of fire alarms. Panicked and assuming it was my neighbor's gas furnace that set it off, I nearly broke their baby's bedroom window trying to wake them up. Turns out my roof leaked into the fire alarm, causing an electrical fire. It was my first day here. FML

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